Thursday, September 8, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
There is nothing to blame it on except myself.
However, I bought a lot of veggies, and much less crap, at the store this week so there's some hope.
How the hell do I find the motivation? Seriously, nothing helps. I look to myself, I look to others, the internet, I don't know what else to do. Nothing I tell myself and nothing others tell me does anything.
It will come to me. I will figure this out. I will beat this.
Yeah, I say it but as I type it, I know it is not true.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
CW: 247 lbs
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -13 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
So I find it ironic that after I preached and ranted for a little bit (okay, maybe a lot) in my last post about not being down on yourself, the only person who can beat you is yourself, yadda-yadda, I hit a slump. Down in the dumps, not eating right, not exercising, upset at night because of how I look. Fitting, is it not? ;)
Each morning, though, I'm trying again. Breakfast is usually decent (I've discovered it's amazing how much cereal you can have it the morning and still be pretty low on calories), lunch can be okay, depending on if I go get food or eat what I've brought. Dinner starts the downhill slide, especially now that Patrick has gone back to working nights. Not that I'm blaming him, or anything like that. It's all on me to lose weight and eat right, and I don't expect anyone to stand over me and monitor everything (wouldn't that be nice, though?). However, when he's home, there's no binge-eating late at night. There's no cake for dessert, and if there is, there's definitely not two pieces. I guess this is because, even though he's been with me for over ten years now, I still don't necessarily want him to see me stuff my face like a pig.
It's is nice, however, that I haven't gone back into the 250s. It's come close. Closer than I wanted to. It's stayed int eh 40s, though, so that's nice. Now I just need to focus on getting down out of the 40s and into the 30s. This is the disappointing part about actually setting goals - failure to reach them. According to my goals on the side of the page, I was supposed to be down 10% by now and working on another 10%. But at least I'm down a little bit, right? Every little bit is nice and means that I'm working on it.
I went shopping for shirts recently. I've discovered two things: I can wear 12/14 (misses) and XXL (19 in juniors), and because of this, they are cutting clothes bigger these days. I look at myself in the mirror and yes, I know I've lost some weight. I've maybe lost some inches, although I can't really tell where. However, I definitely don't think that I've lost enough to be able to say that I can wear a 12/14. Maybe that's just because I've been out of that size for so long that I see it is something only medium-size people can wear. Maybe that's where the faulty thinking is coming in. Not sure. However, it does mean that I get some cuter shirts as an option, as well as firmly being in the 16 sizes.
Now for the smoking side of things - the last I checked in with smoking, I was depressed because my lungs hurt, I couldn't breathe, I wasn't doing great on not smoking... Now I have an electronic cigarette and things are definitely looking up on that front. I haven't had a real cigarette since May 30th (8 days ago, right?). I did have a puff off of a cigarette this past Saturday, but that was just to compare. At first, I was like, there's no difference between this real cigarette and my e-cig! In fact, I feel like there's something in the real cigarette that I've been missing! Then the nastiness hit me - the smell, the gross taste in the my mouth, the heaviness in my lungs... No thank you.
So for those who don't know what an electronic cigarette is, you can Google it. I'll tell you that it has a battery and vaporizes a liquid that you inhale. You can get nicotine (which is, in fact, the point) or not. There are all sorts of flavors you can get. We have stuck with nicotine for now, however. It's supposed to taste like a Marlboro Light, but I call shenanigans on that. That's fine, though, because it gets the job done. So you push a button, it vaporizes some liquid, and you inhale it. What you exhale is supposed to be pretty close to just water vapor, which is why, technically, we could use these things anywhere (school, work, hospitals, restaurants, whatever). I "tested" it on someone who doesn't smoke and is pretty sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke (by testing it I mean I smoked it right next to her) and she didn't smell anything at all.
We can use them around the kids and there's no chance of effects from second-hand smoke, because there's no smoke. There's no tar, no carbon monoxide, not nearly as many additives (I've read that it went from 200+ additives in cigarettes to about 14 in e-cigs). The carcinogens are gone from this. Nicotine itself is addictive, yes, but from what I understand is not the ingredient in cigarettes that gives you cancer and emphysema and all that other nasty crap. We don't smell bad anymore. We don't have to carry lighters anymore. There's no litter because there's no butts. I don't have to worry about live embers catching grass on fire or burning someone as they walk by or whatever.
It's a pretty good deal in my head. Now I'm thinking that there have to be *some* side effects, because otherwise, why wouldn't e-cigs completely replace regular tobacco cigs? (Okay, with that question, I've answered it myself. Tobacco companies would freak at this, although if they'd hopped on the e-cig train from the beginning... Anyways, I digress.)
So my lungs are feeling better although I still haven't gone through the "withdrawal" part of things (coughing up the nastiness from my lungs, getting a better sense of smell, etc). Maybe I just need to wait a little longer to feel a lot better. When we were in the store buying the cigarettes, there were two people there who already use these things. One guy went from smoking 2 packs a day (!) to just using his e-cig and has been for a couple of months, and another lady had been smoking for years and years and has been using only her e-cig for 21 weeks with no plans to go back. So it looks like this has definite possibilities for long term use, as well as for weaning ourselves off of nicotine completely. It's definitely cheaper. Besides the start-up cost (about 120 bucks), we'll go from spending over 200 bucks a month to spending around 30 a month (on the liquid and apparently the atomizers). Within the first month, it's paid for itself.
This thing is good. I like it. And don't worry, unless you tell me I can, I won't smoke it in your house or car, I'll still go outside. I'm a polite person. :)
And on another random note, I'm a very parenthetical writer, aren't I? I wonder if that's annoying to other people. Not to me. It's just how I write my thoughts down. :) Thanks for reading!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
So, I will need to change things up quite a bit here soon. How, is not something I know yet but hopefully it will come to me soon.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Yes, I have been down on myself lately, because I have felt like (almost) a complete failure at this. I say almost because I am still down a total of anywhere from 10 - 12 pounds. I am stuck there, it seems, destined to be forever in limbo at this weight mark on the scale. The miserable bobbing bar on the physician scale at work taunts me; it mocks me every single time I step on. "Hahaha! You won't get lower than this. You don't have the power to make my bar raise.", it says to me and I walk away sulking. 263 - 264 is where I am hovering (if only I were light enough to hover). So, yes, I have my own pity parties but I know I will get down to 262 and rejoice again! It only takes one tiny bit of glimmer to make me shine again; it just takes a lot to get that glimmer going sometimes.
So, I am still trying. Maybe not as hard-core as before, but I am still absolutely trying. There is no giving up for me on this; I am in for the long haul. I am in for life (both as a reference to time and reason).
Maybe, just maybe, it will help if I do start posting daily. Will you get sick of hearing from me? I am betting, ummm, HELL YES. But, I can say with 100% certainty and selfishness that I am doing this for ME and not you so, there. :O)
Also, as smart as I think I am most of the time, I have some pretty stupid plans. For example, I log all my food and then decide, "Oh, I've got this, I don't really need to log everything anymore". When in actuality, the times I start slowing my weight loss, or forcing it to come to a mind altering halt, are the times that I stop logging my food. DOH! What an eye opener that is. I need to realize that being lazy and cutting corners is what got me into this situation to begin with so why am I still looking for the easy way out, the path of least resistance? Well, slap me and call me Ginger, I have got to stop doing that!
Last night I went out with some friends and had a great time! I drank three margaritas and did not care about calories or carbs or anything. We went to On the Border and I did eat a bit of a few appetizers but I really did not eat that much. If nothing else, eating better over the past few months has made me eat MUCH less. That is a plus!
Becky, I love you too and also thank you for all of your support and motivation! You are also totally fun to hang out with! I may have my bad moments and think really bad things about myself but for the most part I am proud of what we are doing here, both in what we have done and what we will do.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -18 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
Okay, so I know that that title is dorky, campy, cliched, whatever... However, unfortunately, I also think that it's true. Not to the point of "visualizing good things coming your way" or whatever happy-crappy New Age bullshit, but being able to genuinely believe in yourself and think well of yourself.
Now, I've declared myself Queen of the Pity Party before (when I was younger) and I will gladly pass that title along to someone else. Someone deserving. You know, like an entitled 16 year old brat that thinks that nothing in life is fair, no one loves her, she's going to go eat worms (as my mother is fond of telling me). I used to have horrible self-esteem (read: none), and only through time, wonderful friends and family, and a husband who loves me so much even after ten years together did I develop self-esteem. Now, I still have my problems, but who doesn't? For the most part, I think well of myself. I think I'm deserving of good things. But most of all, I think that I can do whatever I set my mind to do, because I'm damn stubborn, thank you very much.
Apparently, however, having a bad attitude about yourself for so long starts habits that sometimes you aren't even aware of. I was talking to friend a couple of months back at a party. We had been sitting around drinking and catching up for several hours (so we were feeling very good), and I said something that I didn't think was too bad. I can't remember what it was, but she called me on it and told me to stop being so down on myself. I was surprised, because like I said, I didn't think it was that bad.
But you get in the habit of saying, "I'm fat. I'm ugly. I can't wear anything cute." Then it graduates to "It's a good thing I'm funny, because man, I'm fat/ugly/whatever. Man, I look good today, which is a change for me." Hopefully, you get to the point where you think well about yourself for the most part, but the self-deprecation always shows up. (A side note: I looked up self-deprecating in the dictionary to make sure that I was using it right, and I was struck by the definition: "belittling or undervaluing oneself; excessive modesty". Think on that for a little bit.) A good thing about yourself, followed by a bad thing. Example: I look damn good... for a fat girl.
Like I said above, I've gotten to the point where I don't always realize that I'm doing this. Apparently, I do this a lot, and not only about my looks or physical stature. I belittle my intelligence, what I've accomplished, my value to my friends... I think that I'm being realistic. However, I'm not. I'm being self-deprecating and undervaluing myself.
A little bit of modesty is definitely a good thing, otherwise no one would be able to stand being around you. However, constantly being down on yourself drives people away, too. If there's anything that I've learned the hard way, it's that.
So, in conclusion, I say this to myself, to Lisa, and to anyone else reading this (and I know I've said it before). The only person who can beat you is yourself. If you tell yourself, I can't do this, then guess what? You won't. At all. Ever. We can do this, regardless of what this is. We just have to stay motivated, which admittedly with weight loss is a hard thing, especially if nothing is happening. Keep telling yourself, I can do this. If you have a bad day, make the next day better. Stop looking at the scale and look at how you look, how you feel. In my opinion, when you are dieting and exercising (in moderation) it shows in how you hold yourself, because you feel better about yourself. You've admitted there's a problem and you're trying to do something about it, rather than just whining about it. It may take a while, but for most of us, the weight didn't appear over night, so there's no reason to expect it to disappear overnight as well. It's tough and frustrating and defeating, because we are changing habits of a lifetime, trying to get used to new ways of doing things. That's never easy. But keep doing it, and stop telling yourself it's pointless. Think of every underdog movie and cliche that you can to keep yourself going, because there's a reason that we like stories about those that keep trying and persevere, against the odds.
Lisa, directly to you: I love you. I'm so glad that I met you and that you've motivated me to try and change the habits about myself that I don't like. You've kept me going on this longer than I would have been able to do on my own, even if our support (and our readers' support) is only online. I think that you are beautiful and fun and funny and an all around awesome person. I hope that you feel that way about yourself, as well.
Okay, soap box rant over.
Monday, May 23, 2011
SW: 260 lbs
CW: 243 lbs
TL: -17 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs (10%)
So Lisa and I were talking Saturday night and both of us agreed that we don't necessarily like to post anything when we have nothing good to report. "Hello, Becky here, gained back 7 of my -17 lbs, trying to get that off, would be a lot easier without the popcorn and ice cream diet...." So that's why we go so long without writing anything, rather than give you an update every day (or even every other day) on the life of a dieter. Heck, everyone reading this (probably) knows what it's like to be on a diet.
But I haven't posted in a little bit, so here we go. Still not doing okay with the no-smoking thing, but I blame Patrick. He's not quitting until work straightens out (he's a stress-smoker), so I have no self-control. However, I have stopped bringing them to work (and one of my main hookups for cigs stopped smoking last Friday, so that's... good). So I go the whole day without a cigarette and wait until I get home and have had dinner (for the most part) before I have my first one. I'm trying to keep it down to 3 or 4 a day.
Sometimes I'm worried that I waited too long to quit smoking. I picked up my first cigarette 19 years ago, and have been what I would call a steady smoker for about 16 or 17 years (minus time off for pregnancies, of course). My lungs hurt a lot these days, especially in the morning. Even if I've only had two or three the day before, my chest feels like I chain-smoked an entire pack before I went to bed. I cough a lot, and it's that nasty smoker's cough.
Apparently, I'm worried enough to dwell on it when I'm alone, but not enough to put them down and walk away. Damn it.
So back to my friend that quit this past Friday - he was a pack a day smoker (Camel Wides) and he bought the e-cigarette. There was a little bit of an investment for it, but in the long run, it's definitely (financially) cheaper than smoking cigarettes. He says that it's been doing great for him. He went to the bar with some friends (normally a smoke-heavy event) and didn't feel the urge to have one, only a puff on his e-cig. That has definite possibilities. That's next on the list of things to try. Hopefully soon.
Other than smoking, I've tried to stay pretty active lately. On Saturday morning, we re-seeded our backyard to try and get some grass to grow back there. That involved using a hand-tiller to break up the ground, spread peat moss, seed, and dirt, then mix it all together, in addition with putting up temporary fencing to keep kids and dogs off it and amusing/supervising the kids. (On a side note, you know kids have been having fun outside when the fastest way to get them clean is to hose them off and then dump them in the bath). Granted, after doing this work all morning, I had five pieces of pizza for lunch. :( Then I cleaned in the afternoon, and cleaned and rearranged the house (with help) on Sunday. Much better than sitting on my butt all weekend. The scale didn't move much this morning, but I'm hoping to get under 240 sometime this week or next. Hoping on staying there, too.
I've discovered how far I walk in the mornings when I actually do it. It averages out to about 2 miles, walking at 3 miles an hour. Not very fast, not very far, but it still burns about 260 calories. That means that some mornings, by the time I get to work, I start out with "negative calories". Yay! I've also been getting comments about my appearance, that I look like I've been losing weight. Even if I haven't, that's always nice to hear. Makes me feel better about myself.
Okay, time to get started on that work thing. Bye! :)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I'm not posting my stats because honestly, I haven't weighed myself recently. The past two weeks have been a little (!) crazy for me, and I haven't really stuck to the diet. Much. At all. Oh, well.
So I've decided to jump back on the no-smoking bandwagon as well as the dieting one. I know, I know, I'm setting myself up for failure... maybe. I know it's hard to do both at once, and that it's suggested you quit smoking for about a year, then diet, but what can i say, I'm impatient.
This past weekend was the Crucis alumni weekend. I waited until after then to quit smoking because I knew that there was no way I'd be able to not bum a smoke the whole weekend. I know my limitations. I also wanted to "over-smoke" so that I would be ready to put them down come Monday. I can say, it worked. At least, the over-smoking part did. We went up to Transfig (the outdoor chapel) Friday night and were singing some songs. My breathing was so bad that sometimes I would take a breath to sing and nothing would come out. I had no control over my singing voice and that bothered me (as well it should). My lungs hurt, I was coughing and hacking... Why the hell does anyone pick up this habit? Good Lord.
Monday probably wasn't the best day for me to start, but it had to be sometime. Monday was the first day of finals week. I had two tests. I'm a creature of habit, in case you haven't picked up on this fact, and I'm used to going out to smoke prior to taking any test. It gives me a chance to either keep reveiwing or turn my mind off for a couple of minutes, let it reset. I didn't do that, though. I was proud of myself for nto going around, looking for a cigarette to bum. I know who smokes in the building. Instead, I found a Starburst candy cane from Christmas and sucked on that. (Funny story - it turned my lips and tongue green. I think I surprised the prof when I turned my test in and smiled, like I always do.)
So I didn't smoke at all during the day (Monday and Tuesday). I didn't go to the store to get any, either, even though that is super-easy to do. Go me. However, when Patrick got home, I did smoke a couple of his. So I went from a pack and half over the course of Friday afternoon to Saturday night, 10 on Sunday, 4 on Monday, 3 yesterday. Yes, I am still taking advantage of the fact that Patrick is smoking (still). However, I'm trying to limit myself. Yesterday, I waited until after dinner to have one. Tonight, I'm going to wait until after the kids are in bed. I want to wean myself down for a little bit. I know that cold-turkey is better, but I'm weaning. I'm also not going to smoke around my parents. At all. If I spend the whole day with them, that means the whole day will be spent not smoking.
As always, the hard part will be being around other smokers, and in social situations. Send good thoughts my way while I try to be strong.
Back paying attention to the diet as well. My last test is on Thursday, so I'm back to the grind of work (it's nice being a grad student sometimes). I have to say, it's a lot easier being on a diet and walking and everything while I'm at work.
On a side note, I'm now friends on FB with my high school boyfriend. It's actually providing me with a little more motivation to lose weight, etc. Ssshhhh. Don't tell anyone. :)
(Side note #2 - the original title of this post was "Snoking..." Yay typos. Okay, randomness over.)
Monday, May 9, 2011
My brain wanted 2 pounds a week but my body only got 2 pounds per month. I am working on that.
It is still better than gaining! That is what I am used to so no matter what, it is progress.
I did not weigh myself this morning as I had planned. My schedule was completely thrown off by Chris flying to New Orleans this morning. The fast was not broken until lunch (just now). Tomorrow should be better and will begin with eggs with Lars.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Taken from the website http://www.fathead-movie.com:
Comedian (and former health writer) Tom Naughton replies to the blame-McDonald’s crowd by losing weight on a fat-laden fast-food diet while demonstrating that nearly everything we’ve been told about obesity and healthy eating is wrong. Along with some delicious parody of Super Size Me, Naughton serves up plenty of no-bologna facts that will stun most viewers, such as: The obesity “epidemic” has been wildly exaggerated by the CDC. People the government classifies as “overweight” have longer lifespans than people classified as “normal weight.” Having low cholesterol is unhealthy. Lowfat diets can lead to depression and type II diabetes. Saturated fat doesn’t cause heart disease — but sugars, starches and processed vegetable oils do.
So, I wrote a whole post under this and it has disappeared. Wonderful!
Anyway, I had mentioned that next week I will be starting my newest endeavor of watching carbs. I am not going full Adkins on anyone but I will be limiting them a bit more than normal and watching carbs more than anything else for a bit. It really is an experiment sort of. I was on Adkins a long time ago and was on it for about 2 months; I was strict on it as well. It did not work for me. In the entire two months, I lost 10 pounds and that was just in the first two weeks. It was extremely limiting for me. Doing it the way I will be trying is not so limiting. It is just watching them the same way I watch my calories currently.
I am starting this next week because, well, I will say I am not pregnant, and leave it at that. Next week will be a much better time to start. :O)
Damn, I sure liked my deleted post better.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Last week, while horrible in my current visions, was not horrible compared to what used to be considered as such. "Horrible" in current lingo means not eating near as much as I would have even a few months ago on a bad day (fine, a bad week). Today it means eating a huge gigantic delicious bacon cheeseburger ONCE when a friend took me to lunch, rather than prior horrible times when I would each a cheeseburger for lunch and a pizza for dinner and soda and dessert... you get the point. Today it means realizing I ate said deliciousness and then keeping that in my mind the rest of the day, thus keeping me from going insane on the food around me and making it my bitch; this is what old me would have done. Nope, not new me. New me has a handle on things. That is the best way I can put it right now; I've got this. The sane part of my brain has a bit of a Neapolitan (mmmm), err, Napoleon complex. It is the smaller, yet seemingly more powerful part.
Today there are 13.5 pounds to go until I reach my #2 goal of 10%.
Someday soon, Lady Fingers crossed, I will be able to get into the pool. Sure, today it is green and coated with a fuzzy layer of cotton wood tree dander but soon it will be clear and cool on those nice hot days. I can swim off the pounds in no time!
I am so proud of Becky. You are doing such an amazing job at this! Keep it up! You look absolutely gorgeous and I am super jealous! More proud than jealous though but that is only because I take some credit for it. Because I am selfish and need that to make myself feel better about you kicking my ass in this. :O)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
CW: 243 lbs
TL: -17 lbs
First goal: -26 lbs, to 234
So I finally broke past that 245. Let's see if I can keep that downward trend going with my birthday tomorrow. I know there will be a cake at work, Dakota will be horribly upset if I don't make a cake for us at home, and I'm going out to celebrate Haagen's birthday, so I will be drinking. And this afternoon, I'm going to get my haircut with my best friend. We are probably going to do dinner afterwards. I would love to go to an actual restaurant, be able to get a margarita or something, instead of just fast food, or even Subway (although that is probably the healthiest option). I'm keeping my calorie options open by not snacking and keeping them low this morning.
Getting my haircut for my birthday was originally supposed to be my reward for hitting my goal weight by my goal date. However, unless I cut off a foot or something, it's pretty much impossible to lose 9 pounds in one day. I'm okay with this, though. I'll just have to see how long past my birthday it takes to hit that goal. Hopefully not too long. Just like Lisa said (and I commented), I've adjusted my caloric intake down to 1350 a day. Since I *never* hit my goal intake (I'm usually 100-300 over), this gives me wiggle room. I've also cut out my oatmeal breakfast in the morning and pretty much halved my breakfast calories by having a bowl of cereal. And di you know that strawberries are only about 4 calories a piece? Yeah, I didn't either, but I'm going to take advantage of that fact while they are in season. (One of the boring parts about reading about weight loss - for calorie counters, we go into detail about what has what calories and how much we ate, etc. I've seen it happen on dieting boards, so thanks for bearing with me.) I also walked an hour yesterday morning after dropping Jamie off at day care, and I'll walk again tomorrow morning. I'm trying to walk at least 30 minutes at once, since apparently that is the best for you. When I will start the run/job thing again? No idea. I'm kind of putting it off at the moment. Do you want to my excuses? I've got 'em!
Now, I haven't really noticed a difference in how I look. Granted, that's also because I see myself every day, all day, obviously, so it'll take a while before it's noticeable to me. However, I've had comments. From Patrick, from our Aunt Janine, from Dakota, of all people. I still think they are slightly biased in my favor, but whatever, I'll take 'em!
Side note: is that being down on myself? I got reamed by someone, who was admittedly drunk at the time, about constantly being down on myself and still having no self-esteem, etc. I was very surprised when I was told this, because I didn't think I was being down on myself at all. Is this kind of think what was being referred to, though? There's a small difference, then, between being self-degrading and being realistic. In my head, I'm erring on the realistic side.
Okay, I'm back. I may not really notice a difference, but there is a difference in my attitude towards myself. I feel prettier, freer, etc, and I feel like it's reflected in the way I present myself. I've also found myself gravitating towards brighter, flashier colors. For the first time since I was, like, 8, I would love to have a bright pink cardigan sweater. I need a new purse, and I was checking out red ones and green ones, etc. Not beige, not brown, not black. I looked at some patent leather pumps with what I call hooker heels on them (really tall heels that weren't quite stilettos) that had a peep toe and were bright red... I want something attention-getting. That may also be the fact that Spring is finally here, but I don't think so. (Of course, if you look at me today, I don't reflect the color thing - beige slacks, brown shirt, white undershirt, and beige cardigan. Blue jewelry, though!)
I think I've also gotten back to the point of quitting smoking soon, so we'll see how that goes again. Maybe May 9th? That's when I'm thinking about putting them down again.
Okay, rambling done for now. I have to get back to work. Geez, I'm so super-busy right now, can't you just leave me alone? ;)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
This means I spend all week losing all of that weight again plus just a little extra. It would be a lot extra if I didn't spend all weekend defying myself.
I rode the bike today though for the first time in a LONG time. I only rode a mile but it is a start; a restart I guess. I have been working a lot on he weekends around the house and outside though, so that is great! I also got the pool up again this weekend and worked my ass off doing it. Actually, my body ached Monday so bad but it was nice to feel like I worked some muscles. This means I will be swimming again soon, hopefully this weekend. There are a lot of leaves I need to clean out of it first. Plus, it still is a bit on the chilly side.
I weight myself on Friday and I was 265.5 still; right where I was on last Friday. I will weigh myself today even though I am pretty damn sure it will be higher than that since it is only Tuesday.
This week, ok, starting today, I am going to refocus and do even better this week and then this weekend. Normally, I do great during the week. I am going to cut the calories just a bit more over the week, this should allow for a few extra to be had on the weekends. My goal has been 1465 (don't ask me why - it is just what my calorie counter has picked for me) but I think I will lower that during the week to 1200 - 1300. Let's see how that goes, shall we?
I HAVE to do this. I AM doing this, I just have to do a better job at it. Failure is not an option and I am not completely disappointed with how I have been doing either. You guys better not be either.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Then my eye caught the link for the The Vice Girls, and voila! Saved from work!
SW: 260 lbs
CW: 245 lbs.
TL: -15 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
So I'm back down to -15 lbs. I keep going back and forth between here and 250. I think I figured out why, though. It's a cycle. I'm so happy to get to 245 that I totally (well, a little) through out the diet on Friday and have more than I should. Then comes the weekend, where I eat what my kids eat (I don't snack all day, but I definitely don't have soup for lunch like I do during the week). I don't get my walking in, either, although I do clean the house and work outside. So come Monday, it's creeping back up, and I spend the whole week being good and trying to get it back down. So today, I shall not do that! I'm still going to have a healthy lunch, low-cal, and then Subway for dinner (because Fridays are our fast food day at home). Tomorrow morning when we get on the road, I'm going to have a healthy breakfast before I leave, not stop for Whataburger on the way. (Well....) Healthy lunch, etc. I have to try to keep this going. Oh, yeah, and not forget about my water. I've been doing really good on the water intake. It probably helps that I have a bottle that is 23.7 ounces. I fill it up three times and I've hit my 64 oz for the day, then I just keep going.
So here;s to keeping it going! I have two weeks to lose 11 pounds. You are only supposed to lose two pounds a week, on average, to keep from getting too much excess skin and nastiness like that, but maybe I can get closer before my birthday. I'd like to definitely be out of the 250s and into 240s territory at the least.
Today is a good day. :)
And finally, for your edification and enjoyment, we turn to cracked.com:
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Right now, I am only using the scale at work. It is one of those medical ones with the sliding measures. No sense trying to compute two different weights from two scales.
Can I find a cheap one for my house, I wonder?
Friday, April 8, 2011
Real world, circa Monday after fondue: 3 pounds heavier. It is totally fine though! It was worth it and I knew it would come off again. So, today (Friday) I am down that three pounds AND some! 267.5 for a total loss of 7.5!
Theoretically, I may have been 3 pounds lighter than that had I skipped the fondue delights. On the other hand, maybe the splurge kick-started my system again and helped me lose more than I would have without it. we will never know and I don't care; not one bit.
Goal number one - I am coming for you. Don't be scared though; I will make it past you before you know what hit you.
CW: 250 lbs
Loss: -10 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
So I figured that the first weight that I lost so easily was nothing but water weight. Boo. I thought that I has staying relatively hydrated, but that's what cutting coffee and DDP out of my diet have done for me. Go me!
I haven't posted in a little bit because I was hoping the extra five pounds that I gained back would go away. It didn't, so there ya go. I think I fell off the wagon just a little bit with my diet, not really paying attention to what I was eating. I know I did that for sure on Tuesday. I found out that I've been selected to be an NSF Fellow for this year (which means over $120,000 towards my graduate education from NSF), so I went out to lunch with a friend to celebrate it. I got a very high-fat, high-cal turkey BLT (but sooooo good!) with homemade chips. I was good and only ate half of it in the restaurant. Then I went home in the middle of the afternoon and ate the rest, then had dinner on top of that. Self control FAIL.
I'm frustrated, but only a little. I still want to hit my first goal by my birthday (which is in three weeks). I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but I should be close, hopefully. I've upped my walking so that I walk an extra block to drop Jamie off to day care in the morning (for a total of about 20 minutes round trip), and I actually walked yesterday to go pick him up, too. He got a kick out of that. That gave me a total of about 35 minutes of walking. I'm also trying to watch my sodium intake and drink more water. With this new huge water bottle that I have, maybe I need to up my water goals. Or continue drinking water at home, not just at work. :)
I need to start thinking about putting down cigarettes again, too. Hmmm.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
So, I had a salad for lunch today.
Oh! And i rode my bike 5.02 miles, just as I promised. 360 calories Plus what i saved on lunch is another meal's worth of calories.
I LOVE this now. I love the challenge of the weight loss but, even more, the challenge of working it all out. I really make a game of it. It is a logic problem I must solve each day.
I am winning.
So here are my stats:
1st goal: -26
I feel like I should have an additional 5 pound weight loss on there, but I've actually reached -15 *again*. I stayed at home (mostly) over Spring Break. Yikes! Kudos to those stay-at-home parents who actually manage to either lose weight or never gain it in the first place! It's easier when I come to work/school every day. I have a routine. I'm a big one for routines. I bring my lunch and my snacks, and I have healthy snacks already up here, so I'm good. At home, I have access to cookies. And cokes. And more fruit than I need. And bread...
Okay, you get the picture. I have self-control issues. But then we knew that, right? Not coming as a surprise to anyone here.
I've done surprisingly well on the "no cokes" things. I've extended it from just Diet Dr. Pepper to everything carbonated. It didn't seem very fair, both Lent-wise and health-wise, to cut out DDP but just replace it with Diet Coke or something. I've only had three since Lent began. I know I'm not supposed to have any, but there you go. It's hard to go to McDonald's when you are on your way out of town to go camping and *not* get a coke. Once Lent is over, though, those are the only times that I will really drink cokes, when I don't really have a different option (at least, not a different option than I want). I even still have 4 DDPs in the garage that I haven't touched. I thought about it once, but decided not to. Yay me.
I've also kind of eased back on the Couch-to-5K thing. I'm going to pick it back up, I swear, as soon as I can. Not sure when that will be, but I really don't want to add it to my list of things I got really excited about, did once, then never again. It got cold for a while, and before the time change, it was dark when I had time to do it. Not that it is light outside when the boy goes to bed, maybe I'll be able to work it in. Right now I have tests that I need to be studying for. Unfortunately, school wins over exercise. In the summer, when it's too hot to really be out running, no matter what time it is, hopefully, I'll have time to go to the gym on campus. I'll even be able to go in the middle of the day, or whenever I want to. I still really want a (space-saver) treadmill for home also. In my head, though, when it comes to exercising, it's kind of on a back burner. I want to see how far I can go with just watching what I eat. Once I seem to get stuck, then I'll really start the exercising. Most days, i don't hit my calorie goal, so I'm interested to see what will happen if I just watch what I eat (and that doesn't mean to watch it go into my mouth). Grr (at myself).
However, I'm not just sitting on my butt. I still walk Jamie to day care every morning, which is about 15 minutes of walking. I'll start to walk to day care to pick him up in the evenings, too, next week (this isn't just me putting it off; I have to leave early today because Jamie has a doctor's apt, and then Lexie has a vet apt tomorrow afternoon). I'm trying to get more exercise into my day. Dakota has started soccer, too, so I'll walk around the field while she is practicing (two-fold purpose: I get exercise and I keep my mouth shut and let the coaches do their jobs).
Speaking of Dakota, she hurt my feelings the other day in that way that kids do. No sensor, you know. I should be used to it, my godson said about the same thing three years ago. She looked at me and said "mama, it's like you're pregnant again". I had to explain to her why we don't say things like that (even if it's true) and why she hurt my feelings. That;s the second time she's said something like that. Last weekend, I was changing in my room. She walked in and said "ewwwww!" Patrick got onto her and she had to apologize. I think that she was more talking about seeing someone with no shirt on (she even said that for Hulk Hogan and other people she's seen shirtless) rather than my weight, but still. Not the greatest thing to hear.
So my birthday is April 29th. I will be 29, so this is my golden birthday. I'm planning on going to dinner, then out dancing with friends. I even have a friend coming up from Houston to hang with us. In addition, my best friend and I are going to have a "girly" day of getting our hair done, nails done (maybe), and going shopping for a dress for her. My goal is to lose 11 more pounds by then (hitting my first goal), and the day with my bestie is my reward. Granted, technically that means that if I don't lose the weight, I have to cancel the day. Hmmm. My second goal is to hit the next weight loss goal (by which point I will be down to 211, a total loss of 49 pounds) by August, Patrick's and my 10th anniversary. If I can manage that, then I think I will be about ten pounds lighter than I was when we got married.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
It never seems like much to me when I see 1 pound gone. Then I pick up a pound of shredded cheddar or a pound of sliced rare roast beef. Next time you are at the store go ahead and try it. One, then add another, and one at a time get to six. That is how much I have lost.
Another time it hits me is when I realize that Lars weighs 25 pounds. Wow- I need to lose three and a half Larses. That is a bit daunting.
One Lars at a time though, right?
Still no bike. I am mad at myself about that. I could be at 8 or 10 if I would sit my ass on the seat and pedal. Tomorrow that is my goal; back to 5 miles. No excuses.
Food. Now that has not been horrible. Really, i am just going about it as a total change instead of a diet. I go over my 1500 goal now and then but that's quite alright. I just do better the next day. That is reality - sticking to 1500 every day is not reality.
How are you guys doing?
Monday, March 28, 2011
All in all I feel great about this! I am not feeling miserable or deprived at all. It is awesome just knowing i am making such a great change and sticking to it. It would go faster if i rode my bike but that's my own fault.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I joined the Trim Success (biggest loser type thingie) at work and that just started Friday. We had a different one going on but that really went nowhere so we ALL quit that one and I started doing this one. It is an entire company-wide program; there are about 669 people in it. As of right now I am # 141 of 669. It is only the first week. Tomorrow is our 2nd weigh in. I hope I do ok!
I have not been riding my bike as often as I should but I have been eating great! I am using my company's website for keeping track of my weight and my food. I have to use it for my weight to be in the contest and it just happens that it has an awesome food and exercise log as well. Plus, when I am on it at work I can use the excuse, "I am doing the Realogy Trim Success program so it is technically work related:. So there.
I am super psyched and I don't know why! Maybe it is because Matt Hardaway is going to have to buy me sushi at the end of July when I beat his ass. Maybe it is because Chris and I are working on a scheme to make this sort of like my Xbox achievements that I hold so dear to my heart.
I always said Xbox should absolutely make a game or some sort of achievement thing where you just keep track of calories and exercise - then I would 100% keep up with it to get those achievements. I LOVE ACHIEVEMENTS!!!! It is amazing motivation for me.
If anyone has any suggestions on great motivation - let me know. I thrive on challenge and creativity. For me, unlike many people, it is not enouh for me to want it. Believe me, I want it. More than a lot of people. I am also very willing to work for it. I just need something, other than the end result, to motivate me. Achievements and challenges (not just someone saying I challenge you) do that for me. I will find it.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Okay, class over.
I haven't ever given anything up for Lent. I won't go into my reasons why not, but I still never have. This year, I've decided to, and the thing that I'm going to give up, as you can tell by the title, is diet Dr. Pepper.
Hello, my name is Becky Weber, and I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper.
Dr. Pepper, and now diet, has led to a lot of the problems that I currently have: excess weight, bad teeth, bad skin (I'm sure, although not quite so much anymore). When I was in high school, my mom tried to restrict me to one Dr. Pepper a day. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. When I moved out, I went crazy on Dr. Pepper. That's all I drank, all day. Considering the fact that each can of Dr. Pepper has 150 calories (I think - it's been awhile), if I have 5 cans a day (and that would be a low day), then that is 750 calories, just from drinks. Empty calories, anyone? Invisible calories, too, so I don't really realize how much I'm drinking. At my worst, it was probably between 7 -10 a day. A freakin' day. Yikes! That's not even talking about the amount of sugar in my mouth everyday, all day, ruining my teeth.
Then I switched to diet Dr. Pepper. It took some getting used to, I'll admit, but now I prefer diet to regular. Plus, there's no calories, so yay! Back up to 5 or 6 drinks a day. I was drinking DDP at the expense of drinking water.
Now, I don't know about those studies that say that the artificial sweeteners in diet drinks are linked to cancers or various other diseases in the long run. I haven't read the papers and looked at the research (what can I say, I'm a scientist). I know that it's not conclusive, though. What I do know, though, is that water is kind of important to drink (supposedly), and the sweetness of diet drinks can be very misleading to your tummy. It makes you actually hungrier, apparently, because of the sweetness, but lack of calories... I don't know; I know that it can actually hinder dieting attempts.
I've actually been trying to cut down on DDP for a couple of weeks anyway, focus on drinking more water. I take one with me to work for lunch, and then water the rest of the day until I get home. But this is where my plan of cutting down sometimes falls apart, because that's all I drink all evening and all night.
So here we go. No more DDP. I'm hoping that it will be reflected in my weight, but we'll see. I'm down to 2 travel mugs of half-caf (black) coffee a day, and at least 64 ounces of water a day. I'm brewing the (unsweet) tea right now, so I have something to drink besides water.
And as a side note: I still haven't gotten back to my running thing, although my headaches are gone. Maybe it was the weather, I don't know. Don't care. I have been watching my food intake, for the most part, walking more, drinking more water. Things seem to be going well. I had a bad weekend, so I haven't weighed myself recently, but I'll do that tomorrow morning. Promise. Oh yeah, and of all the Girl Scout cookies we have in house, I restrict myself to the suggested serving amounts. And that sucks. Did you know that you only get 2 Samoas cookies for 140 calories? That sucks.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Not too bad for a lazy bum.
Also, I had a few pieces (small) of candy, but oh well! I wanted it. :O)
My weight this morning was 266.
Loss: 6 (sigh)
I know, good things come to those who wait but good things come faster to those who don't. I will get there, I will.
Friday, March 4, 2011
I used my under desk cycle thing a bit today. It is rough to use for me, personally, though. My knees hit my desk so it is a bit awkward to use but I did it! I had to steal my boss' chair because it has no wheels. When I use it in my chair, it rolls me backward and I spend more time scooting up than cycling. Then I had to take my shoes off because my go-fasters (what my mom calls sneakers) don't fit well in the pedal straps. So, as crazy as it sounds - i MacGyvered everything to make it work.
Tomorrow I think we will be doing some yard work so that will be good for me too. Plus, I plan on riding my bike even if for a short time.
Oh, I did step on the scale. I am lost. I got three readings in four tries so I guess I will go with the one I got twice.
1st: 253.2 (NICE!)
2nd: 259.7 (ok but not as nice)
3rd and 4th: 269.4 (bollocks)
So, I started this thing at 271.2 lbs on November 8th 2010
To date I have lost a grand total of 1.8 lbs! Un-woo hoo. Granted, I have lost more than that and then gained it back. I have not stuck with this as I should have but I also have not gained it ALL back, so that's a plus, right?
I am back on it now and ready again. I go through these phases all the time though. I do great and then do bad but usually I gain it all back and more. These last few times I have fallen off though, I don't do that. I catch myself sooner and right the wagon. Here's to continued use of my brain!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Man, you guys! I have not been on here in SO long! It’s just that I have been SO busy. What, with Lars, and working, and all the running and exercise I have been doing, I just can’t keep up. Oh, wait, that’s not me – that’s Becky doing all of the working out – I get so confused!
The rest is true and I HAVE been exercising some. I have my stationary bike and when I ride it, I ride about 5 miles. I was doing it every day, sometimes twice! I am getting back into it. In fact, when I am done typing here I will get on and ride tonight too.
As of this moment, I do not have my stats. I will get them back up tomorrow though. Let’s see, I have not been keeping track of my food. I know I should but honestly, I feel I am doing ok. I am being conscious of every single thing I eat and drink. There are some days I do a bad job and make up for it doing a great job the next few days. I have to say, it felt horrible keeping tack and going over my idea of an ideal calorie count. I don’t want to be THAT hard on myself. I am still working on this though. In fact, people have said I look like I have lost some, although I don’t feel like it. We will see tomorrow when I weight myself.
I miss you, blog. I really do. It feels good to have a place to go and let out what I am feeling about how I look. It also keeps me in check.
Becky, I think the girl sold the treadmill! I wish I had gotten it, actually.
OH, so this couch to 5k thing. I too was always envious of runners. I thought they were so cool with their little ponytails and cute running shoes. So, I thought I would do it. In fact, I was using the exact same program Becky mentioned using. I am a damn fool to think that was a good idea. It was HORRIBLE for me. I did the first session; which was supposed to be 5 minute warm up walking (brisk), then alternating 60 seconds of jobbing with 90 seconds of walking until you reach a total of 20 minutes. Yeah, I got the 5 minute brisk walk down ok and then did, what felt like, running until I felt like it had been longer than my 60 second limit only to see that it had been 37 seconds. I can’t even run for the full 60 seconds without feeling like I am dying. I MAY try it again, I have not decided totally against it but I really don’t see it happening. Chris even told me he would buy me a new laptop if I worked all the up to the 3 mile mark. Yeah, not worth it. Not worth it at all. Hot damn, it sucked.
Part of me says to keep going, you can do it. Then the other 99% of me is laughing like a batshit crazy person saying, “are you effing mad, woman?”. It really is not for everyone.
My main problem is I get this severe pain when I walk (or run) for more than 10 minutes or so. It is on the outer side of my calf. Almost like a shin splint I guess, but on the side rather than the front. It gets so bad I have to stop sometimes. I almost had to call for a ride the other night. I don’t get this when I ride the bike, so that is the numero uno reason I am thinking I may just not even give the running thing another think.
ok – if I am going to ride tonight I need to get my ass on the bike and pedal. So – I WILL be on here again very soon.
**Update: I rode the bike!
301 - 546 calories (420)
Depending on how you figure it.
The bike said 301
Based on my weight and average speed the internet said 346 - 546 so I have no clue
Livestrong.com says i burn approximately 15 calories per minute equaling 420. That is in the middle so I will go with that. Plus it is easier to figure out with that method.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Total loss: -13 lbs
1st goal loss: -26 lbs
So I went down another notch on my belt this morning. Go me! The scale was very nice to me, with continued loss. My website says that my trendline for weight loss is at 252 (it smoothes out the fluctuations). I'm halfway to my 1st goal, though, which is pretty cool. Hopefully, I'll be able to get out and do the jogging thing again tonight. This cold has been kicking my butt. I feel fine for most of the day until about the middle of the afternoon, then I get a pounding headache that sticks around until bedtime. Makes it really hard to exercise, and I don't think I can get out of bed at 5am to do it (especially not since Patrick no longer gets up at that time). Sleep is too nice. Plus, you are supposed to make sure that you get adequate sleep (all the time) when you are losing weight, so, there ya go.
I really like the website that I use to count calories. There are apps that do it, other websites, other programs, that I'm sure are just as good, if not better sometimes. I just like the fact that I have somewhere to keep track of all this, rather than just my head. It's so easy to go over the allotted cals for a day without even realizing it. And I mean significantly go over. My goal is 1600 per day, as I'm sure I've mentioned (repeatedly) before. That gives me about 400 each for breakfast and lunch, 100 or 200 for snacks, then about 600 for dinner/desert. Sounds just about right. But that amount goes quickly when you buy a Cadbury egg (170 cals), then have a bag of Sun Chips (170 cals also), an apple, 8 oz of carrots, and then three slices of cheese. That right there totals up to be about 600, maybe a little over. Snacking like that, especially the chocolate, while eating healthy meals, puts me over 2100 for the day. Normally, that's not bad (which makes me feel better about if and when I ever get to a maintenance diet), but when you are trying to lose weight and not really able to exercise yet, it's kinda frustrating.
So counting calories has made me aware of two things: the calories in food, especially my favorites, and food choices. In the above example, I could either eat a Cadbury egg (love them!) or 8 oz of carrots (which is kind of a lot; measure it out) and an apple and feel pretty full. Now I know what my mom was talking about when she kept harping on empty calories (thank goodness for *diet* Dr. Pepper). I want to be able to eat more, not less, so I am starting to choose the things that have less calories. Yes, this should be an obvious choice, but sometimes it's hard to make.
Food choice is a recurring thing with me. I say that I'm on a diet and that I want to lose weight, yadda yadda, but when it comes down to it, I have to wonder how serious I am about it. If I am serious about it, that means that I need to start making "food sacrifices", at least until I have some serious weight loss under my belt, so to speak. For example, every Friday night is fast food night at our house (no judging), although with a 6-year-old and 2-year-old, it might be more accurate to call it McDonald's night. It's Friday, pay day, beginning of the weekend, so we celebrate. And I partake. I've moved myself down from (way back when) a double quarter with cheese (no onions), super-sized, with a Dr. Pepper. I shudder to think of eating that now. First I dropped the super-sized. Fairly easy to do, although if you replace the super-size part with a Drumstick (ice-cream cone) for dessert, you really aren't gaining that much. Recently, I've talked myself down to just the quarter-pounder, not the double. I mean, really, who needs a 1/2 pound of meat in one meal? Not me. Now, I need to move myself down further (cause it
s really hard to stop going - I love McDonald's). Maybe that can be my goal for this Friday (and beyond, of course). Instead of a #3, get a double cheeseburger. It doesn't save me much, only about 60-75 cals, but it's a start in the right direction.
I love fast food. I love going out to eat, but I almost can't do that anymore. Most meals at restaurants, especially the yummy ones, are about 1600 in *one sitting*! maybe that can be a splurge thing. Even though I'm dieting, I want to still be able to enjoy food. Otherwise I would eat rabbit food all day, every day.
Okay, to sum up: down 13 pounds, halfway to my goal. Looking for new, low cal lunch recipes (under 400 total). I'll stop rambling and obsessing about food, although if you have any suggestions for lunches, let me know!
Go me, go me!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The past two days haven't been that great, food-wise, but I blame the fact that I've had a monster sinus headache. That's why I didn't do the exercise yesterday. In fact, I went to bed before 8 pm. No way I was even walking with my head pounding. I almost tried to put it off again today (I've got laundry threatening to eat my couch if I don't fold it), but if I put it off, there'd always be another excuse. So just do it already and shut up about it! I'm glad I did, although I think I prefer to exercise in the morning, not the evening. When I did this (not sure what to call it still) Saturday morning, I had a *lot* of energy all morning, more so than usual. If I can convince myself to get up at 5 in the morning during the week, maybe it'd be possile.
Okay, baby steps. Let's work our way up to that torture.
So stats. My scale was very nice to me yesterday.
CW: (2/22) 249
Total Loss: -11
1st goal: -26 lbs (10% of body weight)
I'm sure it is fluctuations, but, hey, it's better than nothing!
As for my other mini-goals, I've been averaging 3 DDPs a day. Could be better, but that also means I've been drinking a lot of water during the day. I think I'm pretty close to hitting my daily goal of 64 oz every day. I've also cut waaay down on coffee (I think I already mentioned that previously; what happened to re-reading previous posts, Becky?). I have two (big) mugs a day, and that's it.
Okay, now I need to be good and go fold laundry. It really is taking over my living room. And if I'm busy folding laundry while I watch TV, that means I don't have hands free to eat. :)
BTW - does anyone (besides my brother) have Just Dance or Just Dance Kids? Opinions?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Edit: Okay, I looked back over previous posts. I should always do that before posting on here. A little update info:
Change: -3 lbs (not much, but I'll take it)
Mini-goal #!: 64 oz of water per day and no more than 3 DDP. Maybe I should change that to 2. I've been doing well on this last week, but that's also because I didn't have any in the house. Now that I have some, I'll use my will power. :)
I am so sore today though! Not only from the jogging/walking/unaccustomed exercise, but yesterday Patrick and I decided to work out in the yard. After I fixed the mower, he mowed the lawn and I messed around with the flowerbeds. I pulled up and reseated 30 0r 40 of the stones blocking out the beds (I've had a total brain fart and can't think of what they are called), which kinda sucks when they are buried so their tops are even with the ground. I pulled weeds and pruned and planted (in pots). My back and legs were getting shaky by the time I was finished with it. Granted, it was better that sitting inside on my butt doing nothing or taking a nap, or whatever. Gotta do whatever I can to stay as active as I can. When the weather gets better (as in, no more chance for freezes), I have another project that is going to help me exercise and tone. :) We have pitiful amounts of grass in our backyard, so we lose a lot of dirt to erosion. We are going to get some dirt to put in the backyard, as well as mixing in grass seed so that we can hopefully convince some grass to grow. I have to put temporary fencing up around the area that our dog will be able to stay in, because you can't walk on the seed until it sprouts. Yay exercise. Ugh. I'm already dreading it, but at the same time I want to get started. There's something very satisfactory about manual labor outdoors that accomplishes something.
So, I went to the Haagens' for a party on Saturday. It was great seeing everyone and hanging, and I spent most of my time outside talking. And smoking. And I was called on it, several times. I haven't totally given up on the no-smoking thing, but it seems to have put on hiatus for a moment. My husband is smoking again, too, and we are back up to where we were in November. We did well for a little bit, but now it's back like nothing's changed. And I'm back to where I was, where I cough when I take my first breath in the morning, I sometimes wheeze when i breath, and I stink again. I can point fingers and say, well, it was this person or that person or that situation, but ultimately I started up again because I'm a social smoker and I like to do it. And believe me, I'm kicking myself in the ass for it. It's true, I'm the only one who can beat me and make me give up. Grrr. This is not good. I'll talk to Patrick and see if we can't pick another day and try again. This is why I try not to bandy it about when I've decided to give up smoking - because so far it's always been temporary.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Well, motivation has reared it's head again. I have up weeks and down weeks. Right now, I seem to be in an up week. I stepped on the scale and it was 258. 258! Yikes. That's not good at all. So I've been very good about entering in my calorie information into my website each day and trying not to go over my allotment. I don't think I've hit it yet (1600 a day), but I've been under 2000 every day since Monday, so yay me! Baby steps. I still consider it a mostly good day when I don't go over 2000. My "usual" non-diet caloric intake seems to be about 2300-2500 on average. Sad, isn't it?
I also found a new website that I think I'm going to try. I've always been kinda envious of runners. I think it sounds like a great way to exercise, especially when you are out in the country and the weather's nice. Someone suggested this website: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml. It's for a couch-to-5K program. Now, I've just noticed there's an app, so it's possible that I'm the last one to know about it, but that's okay. For any who might be behind the times with me, this is a 5-6 week program, longer if you need it, with suggestions on how to work your way up to running/jogging a 5K (3 miles). It's three days a week, 30-40 minutes a day, and sounds imminently doable. So I'm going to start this weekend and we'll see how it goes. I just have to find... er, make the time to do it.
I'm still looking for a treadmill also. I want one of the space-saver ones that folds up, that way I can put it up when I'm not using it. Without fail, it seems, between 9 and 10 when I'm watching TV, I think that I could totally be exercising. Now, I don't know if that's merely the guilt talking, because I'm sitting on my butt watching TV/doing homework, or if I really am motivated. We'll have to see. Lisa, is the lady at your work still selling her treadmill?
I've also been cutting down on coffee, which is a big deal for me. I generally drink about a pot a day (it's half-caf), but now I'm down to 2-3 cups in the morning and then water. A benefit of being short on funds at the moment is that we've run out of cokes at my house, so I'm drinking unsweet ice tea and water all the time during the day and night. When I go to the store this weekend, I'll get more DDP, but will I be able to restrict myself to 2 a day? I'm just fine at restricting my daughter to 2 cokes a day.
So, faithful reader, I guess the only thing that I can say is that I'm trying and have been for the past three days. If I can do it, then I could lose 20 lbs by my birthday (April 29th). Now 20 lbs doesn't seem like that much, but it's more than I've lost for a long time. So we'll see. Does that sound defeatist and pessimistic?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Yup. I have been lazy and have not posted on here. I am working on a lot of things and this just got lost in the shuffle. But, here I am!
We are doing Biggest Loser at work so I need to get my ass in gear and work hard. I have not been keeping track of things on Fitday but I have been watching what I eat. The good news is I have not gained anything back – the bad news is I have not lost. However, I have been up and down with what I have been eating. I have good days; lose a little. I have bad days; gain a little. I also have been getting up later so not walking as much as I was.
This weekend all of that is changing. I will have more good days and will be working more on being more active.
Guess what I ordered!! Amazon.com is sending me a desk cycle thingie! Yay! This thingie goes under my desk and has pedals on it so I can work my legs, like on a bike, all day while at my desk! How exciting is that!?! (Ok, not very – for you – but very for me!)
What else I will do to get active has not come to me yet but I am sure it will :O)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Actually, the fast food wasn't the problem. It was what I ordered from Whataburger that was the problem. Instead of getting something like a kid's meal (which actually would have been a good amount of food), I got a bacon cheeseburger. Yummy. 800 cals for the sandwich, though (on a side note: the Sourdough Jack from Jack-in-the-Box, about 700 calories. It's about half the size of the burger I had yesterday. This means I can never, ever eat at Jack-in-the-Box again).
I'm going back to using my website I prefer, about.caloriecount.com (takes some getting used to, but pretty cool). I track all of my food intake, as well as all the calories I expend during the day. It's very important to keep track of what you eat because you don't realize how many calories you actually take in. My goal is right at 1600 (1599 to be precise). Yesterday, I was at 2350. The only good thing I can say about yesterday is that, because I was so tired and I was at someone else's house, I didn't snack at all last night. So yay. Go me.
Today was better, but I still had more than I needed. I've finished the day at about 1850, and I've been pretty healthy all day. I've had 2 apples and spinach and mushrooms and fish and all sorts of good things.
However. The whole point of this blog: stupid pizza commercials. I'm hungry. I don't have any calories left for today and i'm hungry. I want to eat something. It can be healthy, that's fine. I just want something. Now is the time that all the food commercials come on, as well, and kudos to the advertising guys - all the food looks fantastic. I need to find some meals that are more filling - or snacks, for that matter - without being heavy in fats or carbs. No empty calories, thank you very much.
So mostly, right now, I'm trying to keep my hands busy, because if not...
Okay, let's take this in a different direction instead of talking about food. I had a thought yesterday morning. I pride myself on being a stubborn person. I revel in my stubbornness. No one in my family can out-stubborn me (at least, that's what I tell myself). Apparently, I'm not stubborn, though. I'm just pig-headed. There's a difference. When you are pig-headed, you just refuse to do something just because (your parents told you it was for your own good, for example, so you dig in your heels). Stubbornness means that you fight through and don't let anything beat you. I am letting myself beat me. I have to self-control, I realize that. But if I want to be stubborn, not pig-headed, I have to stop letting myself lose to... myself. I have to be strong and make myself do things I don't want to do (take a walk, eat healthy, not snack). I can be stronger than this. I am a stubborn person, I can do this. I am woman, hear me roar!!
Okay, so that was maybe a little over the top. Maybe I need my own soundtrack constantly playing, with inspiring music (like Eye of the Tiger). That could be cool.