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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Goal #1

SW: 260 lbs
CW: 243 lbs

TL: -17 lbs

First goal: -26 lbs, to 234


So I finally broke past that 245. Let's see if I can keep that downward trend going with my birthday tomorrow. I know there will be a cake at work, Dakota will be horribly upset if I don't make a cake for us at home, and I'm going out to celebrate Haagen's birthday, so I will be drinking. And this afternoon, I'm going to get my haircut with my best friend. We are probably going to do dinner afterwards. I would love to go to an actual restaurant, be able to get a margarita or something, instead of just fast food, or even Subway (although that is probably the healthiest option). I'm keeping my calorie options open by not snacking and keeping them low this morning.

Getting my haircut for my birthday was originally supposed to be my reward for hitting my goal weight by my goal date. However, unless I cut off a foot or something, it's pretty much impossible to lose 9 pounds in one day. I'm okay with this, though. I'll just have to see how long past my birthday it takes to hit that goal. Hopefully not too long. Just like Lisa said (and I commented), I've adjusted my caloric intake down to 1350 a day. Since I *never* hit my goal intake (I'm usually 100-300 over), this gives me wiggle room. I've also cut out my oatmeal breakfast in the morning and pretty much halved my breakfast calories by having a bowl of cereal. And di you know that strawberries are only about 4 calories a piece? Yeah, I didn't either, but I'm going to take advantage of that fact while they are in season. (One of the boring parts about reading about weight loss - for calorie counters, we go into detail about what has what calories and how much we ate, etc. I've seen it happen on dieting boards, so thanks for bearing with me.) I also walked an hour yesterday morning after dropping Jamie off at day care, and I'll walk again tomorrow morning. I'm trying to walk at least 30 minutes at once, since apparently that is the best for you. When I will start the run/job thing again? No idea. I'm kind of putting it off at the moment. Do you want to my excuses? I've got 'em!

Now, I haven't really noticed a difference in how I look. Granted, that's also because I see myself every day, all day, obviously, so it'll take a while before it's noticeable to me. However, I've had comments. From Patrick, from our Aunt Janine, from Dakota, of all people. I still think they are slightly biased in my favor, but whatever, I'll take 'em!

Side note: is that being down on myself? I got reamed by someone, who was admittedly drunk at the time, about constantly being down on myself and still having no self-esteem, etc. I was very surprised when I was told this, because I didn't think I was being down on myself at all. Is this kind of think what was being referred to, though? There's a small difference, then, between being self-degrading and being realistic. In my head, I'm erring on the realistic side.

Okay, I'm back. I may not really notice a difference, but there is a difference in my attitude towards myself. I feel prettier, freer, etc, and I feel like it's reflected in the way I present myself. I've also found myself gravitating towards brighter, flashier colors. For the first time since I was, like, 8, I would love to have a bright pink cardigan sweater. I need a new purse, and I was checking out red ones and green ones, etc. Not beige, not brown, not black. I looked at some patent leather pumps with what I call hooker heels on them (really tall heels that weren't quite stilettos) that had a peep toe and were bright red... I want something attention-getting. That may also be the fact that Spring is finally here, but I don't think so. (Of course, if you look at me today, I don't reflect the color thing - beige slacks, brown shirt, white undershirt, and beige cardigan. Blue jewelry, though!)

I think I've also gotten back to the point of quitting smoking soon, so we'll see how that goes again. Maybe May 9th? That's when I'm thinking about putting them down again.

Okay, rambling done for now. I have to get back to work. Geez, I'm so super-busy right now, can't you just leave me alone? ;)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Meh, I could be better.

While I have not really gained it back, I am not losing a lot either. Becky, I am doing EXACTLY what you are. All week I eat great but the weekend I don't. It's not like I spend the weekend going all out or anything. In fact, I make a great effort not to do that. However, I don't eat what I would call good stuff; I just eat less of the bad stuff than I used to.

This means I spend all week losing all of that weight again plus just a little extra. It would be a lot extra if I didn't spend all weekend defying myself.

I rode the bike today though for the first time in a LONG time. I only rode a mile but it is a start; a restart I guess. I have been working a lot on he weekends around the house and outside though, so that is great! I also got the pool up again this weekend and worked my ass off doing it. Actually, my body ached Monday so bad but it was nice to feel like I worked some muscles. This means I will be swimming again soon, hopefully this weekend. There are a lot of leaves I need to clean out of it first. Plus, it still is a bit on the chilly side.

I weight myself on Friday and I was 265.5 still; right where I was on last Friday. I will weigh myself today even though I am pretty damn sure it will be higher than that since it is only Tuesday.

This week, ok, starting today, I am going to refocus and do even better this week and then this weekend. Normally, I do great during the week. I am going to cut the calories just a bit more over the week, this should allow for a few extra to be had on the weekends. My goal has been 1465 (don't ask me why - it is just what my calorie counter has picked for me) but I think I will lower that during the week to 1200 - 1300. Let's see how that goes, shall we?

I HAVE to do this. I AM doing this, I just have to do a better job at it. Failure is not an option and I am not completely disappointed with how I have been doing either. You guys better not be either.