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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

sick and tired!

No, seriously, I have really been sick and tired and tired of being sick. Ugh, Friday night I started not feeling great and stupidly stayed up until 1:45 am trying to prepare for Lars' birthday party Saturday. So, after being up half the night sick and shivering so much it made me sore all over, I woke up Saturday feeling so much worse. This was fantastic news as Lars' FIRST birthday party was going on that day and there was so much to do. Well, let me tell you... ok, I can't really put into words how amazingly marvellous my mom and sister are. They did everything! I told them what I wanted and POOF, it was done. The party was a hit! I woke up again just as people were starting to arrive. It is now Wednesday and I still feel a bit crappy but I do feel better.

Now, I need to regain my focus on eating. Not just eating right, but eating in general. I don't know that I have hit my 1500 calorie limit in the past 5 days combined. I am eating a bit here and a bit there but not much at a time. There are some good aspects of that, though. Hopefully, mu stomach is getting a bit smaller which should assist in my portion control issues.

My current weight is 265.4
This is great because it is 5.8 pounds total towards my goal.
This is bad because it is almost all from this weekend.

So, I am taking this to be the best I can at this moment and going with it. I am going to begin eating as I am able to when I am hungry and eat healthy choices as often as possible.

In speaking to my fabulous bonus sister Heather, I have also decided that my caloric goal for each day will be between 1500 - 1800. This is to give myself a little wiggle room and still stay healthy. I know I felt guilty for going over 1500... I also know that a 1600 or 1700 day is still a win! BUT when your goal is 1500 and you hit 1700 it psychologically is not a win. So, I need to adjust my goal rather than trying to adjust reality like I usually do (hey, sometimes it works for me).

Also, it is almost Christmas!! I am NOT going to deprive myself of the awesomeness that is Christmas food! I jsut need to watch myself and be a little bit nice when I want to be a lot naughty.

Becky!! It's ok! We are not on a wagon - we can't fall off. We are just going along a similar path as the wagon. I think of it more as tubing the river. We are going to go up and down over some waves (some much bigger than others), we are going to go through different forks in the river as well and we may be up and down at different times. But, we will end up at the same place. Whichever of us gets there first may need to go back around to help the other one but we will both get there. This is a lifestyle change we are doing. It takes a while to change anythign drastic in your life. We didn't meet our guys and get married the next day, we didn't get pregnant and have a kid the next week, we didn't put on all of this weight in a single month, it takes getting used to. We have our waves of ickiness but we get back down in the smooth water and we are all ok again. Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride. It's the only option we've got. Getting out of the river is not an option at this point. I'm staying. I like my tube! (It is very fancy and nifty).