Becky, Becky, Becky... boy, that post was for me, wasn't it!?
Yes, I have been down on myself lately, because I have felt like (almost) a complete failure at this. I say almost because I am still down a total of anywhere from 10 - 12 pounds. I am stuck there, it seems, destined to be forever in limbo at this weight mark on the scale. The miserable bobbing bar on the physician scale at work taunts me; it mocks me every single time I step on. "Hahaha! You won't get lower than this. You don't have the power to make my bar raise.", it says to me and I walk away sulking. 263 - 264 is where I am hovering (if only I were light enough to hover). So, yes, I have my own pity parties but I know I will get down to 262 and rejoice again! It only takes one tiny bit of glimmer to make me shine again; it just takes a lot to get that glimmer going sometimes.
So, I am still trying. Maybe not as hard-core as before, but I am still absolutely trying. There is no giving up for me on this; I am in for the long haul. I am in for life (both as a reference to time and reason).
Maybe, just maybe, it will help if I do start posting daily. Will you get sick of hearing from me? I am betting, ummm, HELL YES. But, I can say with 100% certainty and selfishness that I am doing this for ME and not you so, there. :O)
Also, as smart as I think I am most of the time, I have some pretty stupid plans. For example, I log all my food and then decide, "Oh, I've got this, I don't really need to log everything anymore". When in actuality, the times I start slowing my weight loss, or forcing it to come to a mind altering halt, are the times that I stop logging my food. DOH! What an eye opener that is. I need to realize that being lazy and cutting corners is what got me into this situation to begin with so why am I still looking for the easy way out, the path of least resistance? Well, slap me and call me Ginger, I have got to stop doing that!
Last night I went out with some friends and had a great time! I drank three margaritas and did not care about calories or carbs or anything. We went to On the Border and I did eat a bit of a few appetizers but I really did not eat that much. If nothing else, eating better over the past few months has made me eat MUCH less. That is a plus!
Becky, I love you too and also thank you for all of your support and motivation! You are also totally fun to hang out with! I may have my bad moments and think really bad things about myself but for the most part I am proud of what we are doing here, both in what we have done and what we will do.
Not just for you. I've been noticing comments like that a lot lately, from lots of different people, including myself. :)
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