Goal #1

SW: 260 lbs
CW: 243 lbs

TL: -17 lbs

First goal: -26 lbs, to 234

*****

So I finally broke past that 245. Let's see if I can keep that downward trend going with my birthday tomorrow. I know there will be a cake at work, Dakota will be horribly upset if I don't make a cake for us at home, and I'm going out to celebrate Haagen's birthday, so I will be drinking. And this afternoon, I'm going to get my haircut with my best friend. We are probably going to do dinner afterwards. I would love to go to an actual restaurant, be able to get a margarita or something, instead of just fast food, or even Subway (although that is probably the healthiest option). I'm keeping my calorie options open by not snacking and keeping them low this morning.

Getting my haircut for my birthday was originally supposed to be my reward for hitting my goal weight by my goal date. However, unless I cut off a foot or something, it's pretty much impossible to lose 9 pounds in one day. I'm okay with this, though. I'll just have to see how long past my birthday it takes to hit that goal. Hopefully not too long. Just like Lisa said (and I commented), I've adjusted my caloric intake down to 1350 a day. Since I *never* hit my goal intake (I'm usually 100-300 over), this gives me wiggle room. I've also cut out my oatmeal breakfast in the morning and pretty much halved my breakfast calories by having a bowl of cereal. And di you know that strawberries are only about 4 calories a piece? Yeah, I didn't either, but I'm going to take advantage of that fact while they are in season. (One of the boring parts about reading about weight loss - for calorie counters, we go into detail about what has what calories and how much we ate, etc. I've seen it happen on dieting boards, so thanks for bearing with me.) I also walked an hour yesterday morning after dropping Jamie off at day care, and I'll walk again tomorrow morning. I'm trying to walk at least 30 minutes at once, since apparently that is the best for you. When I will start the run/job thing again? No idea. I'm kind of putting it off at the moment. Do you want to my excuses? I've got 'em!

Now, I haven't really noticed a difference in how I look. Granted, that's also because I see myself every day, all day, obviously, so it'll take a while before it's noticeable to me. However, I've had comments. From Patrick, from our Aunt Janine, from Dakota, of all people. I still think they are slightly biased in my favor, but whatever, I'll take 'em!

Side note: is that being down on myself? I got reamed by someone, who was admittedly drunk at the time, about constantly being down on myself and still having no self-esteem, etc. I was very surprised when I was told this, because I didn't think I was being down on myself at all. Is this kind of think what was being referred to, though? There's a small difference, then, between being self-degrading and being realistic. In my head, I'm erring on the realistic side.

Okay, I'm back. I may not really notice a difference, but there is a difference in my attitude towards myself. I feel prettier, freer, etc, and I feel like it's reflected in the way I present myself. I've also found myself gravitating towards brighter, flashier colors. For the first time since I was, like, 8, I would love to have a bright pink cardigan sweater. I need a new purse, and I was checking out red ones and green ones, etc. Not beige, not brown, not black. I looked at some patent leather pumps with what I call hooker heels on them (really tall heels that weren't quite stilettos) that had a peep toe and were bright red... I want something attention-getting. That may also be the fact that Spring is finally here, but I don't think so. (Of course, if you look at me today, I don't reflect the color thing - beige slacks, brown shirt, white undershirt, and beige cardigan. Blue jewelry, though!)

I think I've also gotten back to the point of quitting smoking soon, so we'll see how that goes again. Maybe May 9th? That's when I'm thinking about putting them down again.

Okay, rambling done for now. I have to get back to work. Geez, I'm so super-busy right now, can't you just leave me alone? ;)

Meh, I could be better.

While I have not really gained it back, I am not losing a lot either. Becky, I am doing EXACTLY what you are. All week I eat great but the weekend I don't. It's not like I spend the weekend going all out or anything. In fact, I make a great effort not to do that. However, I don't eat what I would call good stuff; I just eat less of the bad stuff than I used to.

This means I spend all week losing all of that weight again plus just a little extra. It would be a lot extra if I didn't spend all weekend defying myself.

I rode the bike today though for the first time in a LONG time. I only rode a mile but it is a start; a restart I guess. I have been working a lot on he weekends around the house and outside though, so that is great! I also got the pool up again this weekend and worked my ass off doing it. Actually, my body ached Monday so bad but it was nice to feel like I worked some muscles. This means I will be swimming again soon, hopefully this weekend. There are a lot of leaves I need to clean out of it first. Plus, it still is a bit on the chilly side.

I weight myself on Friday and I was 265.5 still; right where I was on last Friday. I will weigh myself today even though I am pretty damn sure it will be higher than that since it is only Tuesday.

This week, ok, starting today, I am going to refocus and do even better this week and then this weekend. Normally, I do great during the week. I am going to cut the calories just a bit more over the week, this should allow for a few extra to be had on the weekends. My goal has been 1465 (don't ask me why - it is just what my calorie counter has picked for me) but I think I will lower that during the week to 1200 - 1300. Let's see how that goes, shall we?

I HAVE to do this. I AM doing this, I just have to do a better job at it. Failure is not an option and I am not completely disappointed with how I have been doing either. You guys better not be either.

Yo-yo weight

I am at work right now, waiting for my 11 am class to start. I could be doing something productive (after all, I do have to give a presentation tomorrow), but instead, I'm procrastinating. I've checked FB, I'm caught up on my email and everything else. I thought to myself, oh no, now I actually have to work?!

Then my eye caught the link for the The Vice Girls, and voila! Saved from work!

*****
Current stats:

SW: 260 lbs
CW: 245 lbs.

TL: -15 lbs

1st goal: -26 lbs
*****

So I'm back down to -15 lbs. I keep going back and forth between here and 250. I think I figured out why, though. It's a cycle. I'm so happy to get to 245 that I totally (well, a little) through out the diet on Friday and have more than I should. Then comes the weekend, where I eat what my kids eat (I don't snack all day, but I definitely don't have soup for lunch like I do during the week). I don't get my walking in, either, although I do clean the house and work outside. So come Monday, it's creeping back up, and I spend the whole week being good and trying to get it back down. So today, I shall not do that! I'm still going to have a healthy lunch, low-cal, and then Subway for dinner (because Fridays are our fast food day at home). Tomorrow morning when we get on the road, I'm going to have a healthy breakfast before I leave, not stop for Whataburger on the way. (Well....) Healthy lunch, etc. I have to try to keep this going. Oh, yeah, and not forget about my water. I've been doing really good on the water intake. It probably helps that I have a bottle that is 23.7 ounces. I fill it up three times and I've hit my 64 oz for the day, then I just keep going.

So here;s to keeping it going! I have two weeks to lose 11 pounds. You are only supposed to lose two pounds a week, on average, to keep from getting too much excess skin and nastiness like that, but maybe I can get closer before my birthday. I'd like to definitely be out of the 250s and into 240s territory at the least.

Today is a good day. :)

And finally, for your edification and enjoyment, we turn to cracked.com:

http://www.cracked.com/article_19069_6-diet-fads-people-who-will-try-anything-except-exercise_p2.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18549_8-health-foods-that-are-bad-your-health.html

My tight jeans aren't so tight anymore

That's right, the jeans I had to steal from my mom (because they were too big for her) are now the perfect fit! THAT, my friends, is the feeling of success. Honestly, I can't believe I am actually doing it. It feels amazing. Slowly, very slowly, the feeling of pride and self-worth is coming back to this vice girl.

Right now, I am only using the scale at work. It is one of those medical ones with the sliding measures. No sense trying to compute two different weights from two scales.
Can I find a cheap one for my house, I wonder?

Tipping the wagon now and then never hurt anyone.

I have not gotten off the wagon - I am just kind of riding the rails with it. This past weekend I had a fantastic dinner with Chris and our amazing friends, Bo and Mindy. It was decadent and 100% guilt free. Once in a while we need those times! Fondue, oh yes, fondue. Cheese fondue, oil fondue, chocolate fondue... damn it was delicious!

Real world, circa Monday after fondue: 3 pounds heavier. It is totally fine though! It was worth it and I knew it would come off again. So, today (Friday) I am down that three pounds AND some! 267.5 for a total loss of 7.5!

Theoretically, I may have been 3 pounds lighter than that had I skipped the fondue delights. On the other hand, maybe the splurge kick-started my system again and helped me lose more than I would have without it. we will never know and I don't care; not one bit.

Goal number one - I am coming for you. Don't be scared though; I will make it past you before you know what hit you.

Water weight... Boo

SW: 260 lbs
CW: 250 lbs
Loss: -10 lbs

1st goal: -26 lbs

*****
So I figured that the first weight that I lost so easily was nothing but water weight. Boo. I thought that I has staying relatively hydrated, but that's what cutting coffee and DDP out of my diet have done for me. Go me!

I haven't posted in a little bit because I was hoping the extra five pounds that I gained back would go away. It didn't, so there ya go. I think I fell off the wagon just a little bit with my diet, not really paying attention to what I was eating. I know I did that for sure on Tuesday. I found out that I've been selected to be an NSF Fellow for this year (which means over $120,000 towards my graduate education from NSF), so I went out to lunch with a friend to celebrate it. I got a very high-fat, high-cal turkey BLT (but sooooo good!) with homemade chips. I was good and only ate half of it in the restaurant. Then I went home in the middle of the afternoon and ate the rest, then had dinner on top of that. Self control FAIL.

I'm frustrated, but only a little. I still want to hit my first goal by my birthday (which is in three weeks). I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but I should be close, hopefully. I've upped my walking so that I walk an extra block to drop Jamie off to day care in the morning (for a total of about 20 minutes round trip), and I actually walked yesterday to go pick him up, too. He got a kick out of that. That gave me a total of about 35 minutes of walking. I'm also trying to watch my sodium intake and drink more water. With this new huge water bottle that I have, maybe I need to up my water goals. Or continue drinking water at home, not just at work. :)

I need to start thinking about putting down cigarettes again, too. Hmmm.

Screw you Lean Cuisine!

Here I was, thinking I am the shit; thinking I am eating so great because I am eating Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, and Smart Ones meals for lunch. My goal was not over 260 calories (it was 250 until I saw the lobster ravioli was 260 so I made an adjustment)for lunch. I still think that was realistic. Until, that is, Chris told me to get the salad stuff I always say I am going to get and never go get. This time I did. I added up my salad today WITH DRESSING and it was a whopping 129 calories. What was I thinking ignoring this fabulousness earlier. Salad, oh how I love thee for you allow me an extra snack later in the day. A bite of sweets, perhaps. Oh yes, I've got your ticket healthy lunch people, and i have ripped it up to throw in your face. Salad has beaten you down with a cucumber!

So, I had a salad for lunch today.

Oh! And i rode my bike 5.02 miles, just as I promised. 360 calories Plus what i saved on lunch is another meal's worth of calories.

I LOVE this now. I love the challenge of the weight loss but, even more, the challenge of working it all out. I really make a game of it. It is a logic problem I must solve each day.

I am winning.