Yes I have but not in the way you might think. Yes, I have gained some weight back since doing this (my last post was SEPTEMBER 2011!! Ugh!), but not much. I was 258 and now am 262 - not too bad considering that it is January. That means I made it through the holidays gaining 4 pounds. Granted, i have lost a couple of pounds within the past two weeks or so, but not many. MAYBE 4, if that. The "bad girl" is how I have been losing it. No, I have not gone anorexic or bulimic, and I feel fine so it is not that bad no matter what anyone tells me. Basically, I am eating once a day. Becky will say how horrible this is but i really REALLY like it. If I get really hungry during the day, I will eat. Like today, I was staving this morning so I ate and then I ate dinner. But most days, I can go until dinner without wanting anything at all. Then when dinner comes, I don't eat a crap-ton like I used to. Although, I eat what I want. This is one way I know of to snap my body back into wanting smaller meals. I was doing this when Chris and I started dating and I looked GREAT (to me anyway). So, I did this for a while and then when I started eating more meals a day, they were much smaller. that is my intent. This is not a long term plan - just s short term "snap my stomach back into the smaller size so I can eat less" mode.
So, Becky, no lecture about how I need to eat at least 1200 calories (I probably get about that each day with my dinner anyway).
This year I have so much to work towards! I have my bonus sister's wedding in June, where I am a part of the wedding so I want to look beautiful. I have New Orleans, as usual, where i want to look boobilicious, and then there is the fabulous Halloween in October where I want to look HOT as HELL.
I only have 21 weeks until the wedding. That is exactly 3 pounds a week to get me to 199. I WANT THAT.
I need t set that in my mind and make it happen. Easy, right?
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Achievements!
I've had two decent days in a row. Accomplishments? Well, tonight we had pancakes. I had one serving of three pancakes and that's it, rather than having two servings of three. It's a step in the right direction. I didn't snack when I came home from work before I got the kids. I didn't snack too much last night, although I had a little more than I intended (a popsicle, when I had already gone over my calories for the day).
I have a website that I use to count calories. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I'm a fan. It's free, which is nice. I've been using this website off and on since 2007. They have discussion boards, etc, that you can use for support in losing weight. There was one that I was a member of for a while, called the 200 club. It was for those of us who were, unfortunately, over 200 pounds. For a while, it was a really great group of ladies who were all very supportive and active in posting, giving diet tips and stuff. I ran out of time to visit it every day, though, and there were enough active posters on there that that was the only way I stayed up to date with it. I wonder if any of those ladies met their goal weight. There was one lady, Ellen, who was in her late 50s, early 60s, and was losing 80+ pounds for the second time. She was inspiring, because she just made it look so easy! In the time that I was on there, she lost 45 pounds. In the time that I was on there, I think I sat at about 15 or 20 lost. So, yeah, inspiring, but also frustrating. What was she doing that I wasn't?
Anyways, this website has started something new called Calorie Camp. You log your food for the day and set yourself goals (mine are currently to log my food every day, to get at least 30 min of physical activity at least 4 times a week, and to drink at least 64 oz of water a day. Sound familiar?). You can also get other achievements. One that I saw was to walk/run at least 30 miles in a month. Apparently, as you hit all these goals and achievements and everything, you rack up points. Then, when you hit certain levels, you can cash in those points for real things, like a $25 gift certificate to a certain shoe store (that's the only one I can remember off the top of my head). That's pretty cool, but it's also pretty cool - and addicting - to see the points rack up. This is how I got sucked in to Zoo World on FB for a little bit last year - the addiction of accumulating stuff!
So, I don't know, maybe this will help. It certainly can't hurt. It's rough trying to log my calories completely every day, but only when I'm at home; what can I say, I'm lazy. Plus, sometimes it's just time-consuming. Like today, I had a spinach salad with chicken, cherry tomatoes, avocado, and a hard boiled egg with Fat Free Asian Toasted Sesame dressing from Kraft (yummy, yummy!). I had to log each thing, with estimated amounts. Sometimes, it gives the amounts in ounces or grams or "recommended serving". This is not always the most helpful. I try to estimate as I go, but I'm probably off. I take the ending calorie count with a grain of salt each day. Like today, my goal is 1600 per day, and I'm coming in at 1649. That's awesome for me. Makes me think that I'm doing something wrong, as in, forgot to log something.
Who knows, maybe I've just had two good days. And that's where it all starts, right? Having more good days than bad days.
I have a website that I use to count calories. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I'm a fan. It's free, which is nice. I've been using this website off and on since 2007. They have discussion boards, etc, that you can use for support in losing weight. There was one that I was a member of for a while, called the 200 club. It was for those of us who were, unfortunately, over 200 pounds. For a while, it was a really great group of ladies who were all very supportive and active in posting, giving diet tips and stuff. I ran out of time to visit it every day, though, and there were enough active posters on there that that was the only way I stayed up to date with it. I wonder if any of those ladies met their goal weight. There was one lady, Ellen, who was in her late 50s, early 60s, and was losing 80+ pounds for the second time. She was inspiring, because she just made it look so easy! In the time that I was on there, she lost 45 pounds. In the time that I was on there, I think I sat at about 15 or 20 lost. So, yeah, inspiring, but also frustrating. What was she doing that I wasn't?
Anyways, this website has started something new called Calorie Camp. You log your food for the day and set yourself goals (mine are currently to log my food every day, to get at least 30 min of physical activity at least 4 times a week, and to drink at least 64 oz of water a day. Sound familiar?). You can also get other achievements. One that I saw was to walk/run at least 30 miles in a month. Apparently, as you hit all these goals and achievements and everything, you rack up points. Then, when you hit certain levels, you can cash in those points for real things, like a $25 gift certificate to a certain shoe store (that's the only one I can remember off the top of my head). That's pretty cool, but it's also pretty cool - and addicting - to see the points rack up. This is how I got sucked in to Zoo World on FB for a little bit last year - the addiction of accumulating stuff!
So, I don't know, maybe this will help. It certainly can't hurt. It's rough trying to log my calories completely every day, but only when I'm at home; what can I say, I'm lazy. Plus, sometimes it's just time-consuming. Like today, I had a spinach salad with chicken, cherry tomatoes, avocado, and a hard boiled egg with Fat Free Asian Toasted Sesame dressing from Kraft (yummy, yummy!). I had to log each thing, with estimated amounts. Sometimes, it gives the amounts in ounces or grams or "recommended serving". This is not always the most helpful. I try to estimate as I go, but I'm probably off. I take the ending calorie count with a grain of salt each day. Like today, my goal is 1600 per day, and I'm coming in at 1649. That's awesome for me. Makes me think that I'm doing something wrong, as in, forgot to log something.
Who knows, maybe I've just had two good days. And that's where it all starts, right? Having more good days than bad days.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
New Goals
Okay, I have no idea if anyone is even still following this, but what the hell. I actually lost some weight last year when we were keeping up with this semi-regularly. I think I was down 14 pounds, which isn't much, but hey, it's something, right! Well, since then, I've gained it all back, plus a little bit. I'm heading dangerously close to an all-time high... and that includes when I was pregnant with the boy. That's depressing. In the interest of full disclosure, the scale read 268 this morning. My high weight is 274, and that's when I was pregnant. This currently is my non-pregnant high weight.
In reading back through some of this, Lisa and I have the same problem (and we keep going over the same ground). We have no motivation. The motivation sparks briefly, and then flies away quickly. It's just so much easier to keep doing what we are doing. Yeah, okay, we'll try to snack a little less, maybe put down the brownie and pick up a carrot or something, but other then that... It's easier to complain. And whine, and moan. And buy new clothes when our old ones don't fit. And look at plus-size fashions and wonder why all the designers want us to look like circus tents.
At the new year, well, it was time for a new resolution. Lose weight. Again. Same one as always. I joined a weight loss challenge that, unfortunately, didn't really go anywhere. I decided to do my own personal week-long challenges, and surprisingly, have had some success with it.
First week: drink at least 64 oz. of water a day. Check.
Second week: In addition week one's challenge, try to walk at least 30 min, at least three times a week. (I noticed that when I was losing weight before, I was actually walking a whole bunch. Time to get back to that.)
Third week: In addition to the first two, try to have 3-5 servings of veggies a day. (This one is a bit harder, I'm still working on it.)
I have a time frame on losing just a little bit, though, and it doesn't have anything to do with a weight-loss challenge. Before hot weather gets here, I need to lose at least 20 pounds. Otherwise, none of my capris will fit, and I'll have to spend money to buy some more. In a bigger size. Very depressing. They were already getting a little tight at the end of last summer, and I've put on a little bit more weight since then. I don't want to go up a size. I want to buy new clothes because they are all too big.
I still want a used treadmill for my house, and now I want to add to that a step board so that I can do step classes at home, rather than trying to work it into my schedule at school. I'm trying to set myself little goals so that I'm not overwhelmed and give up so fast. Besides the mini-challenges, I think that my next one is to get up early at least two days out of the week and do some yoga in the morning.
So, I'm trying. The spark is not quite out, although some days it burns brighter than others.
In reading back through some of this, Lisa and I have the same problem (and we keep going over the same ground). We have no motivation. The motivation sparks briefly, and then flies away quickly. It's just so much easier to keep doing what we are doing. Yeah, okay, we'll try to snack a little less, maybe put down the brownie and pick up a carrot or something, but other then that... It's easier to complain. And whine, and moan. And buy new clothes when our old ones don't fit. And look at plus-size fashions and wonder why all the designers want us to look like circus tents.
At the new year, well, it was time for a new resolution. Lose weight. Again. Same one as always. I joined a weight loss challenge that, unfortunately, didn't really go anywhere. I decided to do my own personal week-long challenges, and surprisingly, have had some success with it.
First week: drink at least 64 oz. of water a day. Check.
Second week: In addition week one's challenge, try to walk at least 30 min, at least three times a week. (I noticed that when I was losing weight before, I was actually walking a whole bunch. Time to get back to that.)
Third week: In addition to the first two, try to have 3-5 servings of veggies a day. (This one is a bit harder, I'm still working on it.)
I have a time frame on losing just a little bit, though, and it doesn't have anything to do with a weight-loss challenge. Before hot weather gets here, I need to lose at least 20 pounds. Otherwise, none of my capris will fit, and I'll have to spend money to buy some more. In a bigger size. Very depressing. They were already getting a little tight at the end of last summer, and I've put on a little bit more weight since then. I don't want to go up a size. I want to buy new clothes because they are all too big.
I still want a used treadmill for my house, and now I want to add to that a step board so that I can do step classes at home, rather than trying to work it into my schedule at school. I'm trying to set myself little goals so that I'm not overwhelmed and give up so fast. Besides the mini-challenges, I think that my next one is to get up early at least two days out of the week and do some yoga in the morning.
So, I'm trying. The spark is not quite out, although some days it burns brighter than others.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Here veggie, veggie, veggie... come here girl...
Last night I wanted a quesadilla. So, I had one. bUT I decided I should sneak in some veggies. I mean, they are just sitting in my fridge getting lonely anyway. Before, they knew what hit 'em, I had cheese, tomatoes, and broccoli in there. Man, was it yummy! Plus, afterwards I felt pretty good about it. Hell yeah, it had a ton of cheese in it (I can't change who I am) but it had more veggies than it would have had and that, my friends, is what I call a step.
Monday, September 5, 2011
So, now I am a quitter and still fat. Fat quitter.
I haven't been here lately, I realize this. Mostly, it has been on purpose. The eating has not been good and the exercise has been non-existent. while I have lost a couple measly pounds, it really has more to do with not eating as much, me thinks, as eating correctly. Great Scott, I have not been eating right. In the past month I may have had 5 servings of veggies. total. Two of those were in the past week.
There is nothing to blame it on except myself.
However, I bought a lot of veggies, and much less crap, at the store this week so there's some hope.
How the hell do I find the motivation? Seriously, nothing helps. I look to myself, I look to others, the internet, I don't know what else to do. Nothing I tell myself and nothing others tell me does anything.
It will come to me. I will figure this out. I will beat this.
Yeah, I say it but as I type it, I know it is not true.
There is nothing to blame it on except myself.
However, I bought a lot of veggies, and much less crap, at the store this week so there's some hope.
How the hell do I find the motivation? Seriously, nothing helps. I look to myself, I look to others, the internet, I don't know what else to do. Nothing I tell myself and nothing others tell me does anything.
It will come to me. I will figure this out. I will beat this.
Yeah, I say it but as I type it, I know it is not true.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Yeah well, I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy
Current Stats:
CW: 247 lbs
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -13 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
*****
So I find it ironic that after I preached and ranted for a little bit (okay, maybe a lot) in my last post about not being down on yourself, the only person who can beat you is yourself, yadda-yadda, I hit a slump. Down in the dumps, not eating right, not exercising, upset at night because of how I look. Fitting, is it not? ;)
Each morning, though, I'm trying again. Breakfast is usually decent (I've discovered it's amazing how much cereal you can have it the morning and still be pretty low on calories), lunch can be okay, depending on if I go get food or eat what I've brought. Dinner starts the downhill slide, especially now that Patrick has gone back to working nights. Not that I'm blaming him, or anything like that. It's all on me to lose weight and eat right, and I don't expect anyone to stand over me and monitor everything (wouldn't that be nice, though?). However, when he's home, there's no binge-eating late at night. There's no cake for dessert, and if there is, there's definitely not two pieces. I guess this is because, even though he's been with me for over ten years now, I still don't necessarily want him to see me stuff my face like a pig.
It's is nice, however, that I haven't gone back into the 250s. It's come close. Closer than I wanted to. It's stayed int eh 40s, though, so that's nice. Now I just need to focus on getting down out of the 40s and into the 30s. This is the disappointing part about actually setting goals - failure to reach them. According to my goals on the side of the page, I was supposed to be down 10% by now and working on another 10%. But at least I'm down a little bit, right? Every little bit is nice and means that I'm working on it.
I went shopping for shirts recently. I've discovered two things: I can wear 12/14 (misses) and XXL (19 in juniors), and because of this, they are cutting clothes bigger these days. I look at myself in the mirror and yes, I know I've lost some weight. I've maybe lost some inches, although I can't really tell where. However, I definitely don't think that I've lost enough to be able to say that I can wear a 12/14. Maybe that's just because I've been out of that size for so long that I see it is something only medium-size people can wear. Maybe that's where the faulty thinking is coming in. Not sure. However, it does mean that I get some cuter shirts as an option, as well as firmly being in the 16 sizes.
Now for the smoking side of things - the last I checked in with smoking, I was depressed because my lungs hurt, I couldn't breathe, I wasn't doing great on not smoking... Now I have an electronic cigarette and things are definitely looking up on that front. I haven't had a real cigarette since May 30th (8 days ago, right?). I did have a puff off of a cigarette this past Saturday, but that was just to compare. At first, I was like, there's no difference between this real cigarette and my e-cig! In fact, I feel like there's something in the real cigarette that I've been missing! Then the nastiness hit me - the smell, the gross taste in the my mouth, the heaviness in my lungs... No thank you.
So for those who don't know what an electronic cigarette is, you can Google it. I'll tell you that it has a battery and vaporizes a liquid that you inhale. You can get nicotine (which is, in fact, the point) or not. There are all sorts of flavors you can get. We have stuck with nicotine for now, however. It's supposed to taste like a Marlboro Light, but I call shenanigans on that. That's fine, though, because it gets the job done. So you push a button, it vaporizes some liquid, and you inhale it. What you exhale is supposed to be pretty close to just water vapor, which is why, technically, we could use these things anywhere (school, work, hospitals, restaurants, whatever). I "tested" it on someone who doesn't smoke and is pretty sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke (by testing it I mean I smoked it right next to her) and she didn't smell anything at all.
We can use them around the kids and there's no chance of effects from second-hand smoke, because there's no smoke. There's no tar, no carbon monoxide, not nearly as many additives (I've read that it went from 200+ additives in cigarettes to about 14 in e-cigs). The carcinogens are gone from this. Nicotine itself is addictive, yes, but from what I understand is not the ingredient in cigarettes that gives you cancer and emphysema and all that other nasty crap. We don't smell bad anymore. We don't have to carry lighters anymore. There's no litter because there's no butts. I don't have to worry about live embers catching grass on fire or burning someone as they walk by or whatever.
It's a pretty good deal in my head. Now I'm thinking that there have to be *some* side effects, because otherwise, why wouldn't e-cigs completely replace regular tobacco cigs? (Okay, with that question, I've answered it myself. Tobacco companies would freak at this, although if they'd hopped on the e-cig train from the beginning... Anyways, I digress.)
So my lungs are feeling better although I still haven't gone through the "withdrawal" part of things (coughing up the nastiness from my lungs, getting a better sense of smell, etc). Maybe I just need to wait a little longer to feel a lot better. When we were in the store buying the cigarettes, there were two people there who already use these things. One guy went from smoking 2 packs a day (!) to just using his e-cig and has been for a couple of months, and another lady had been smoking for years and years and has been using only her e-cig for 21 weeks with no plans to go back. So it looks like this has definite possibilities for long term use, as well as for weaning ourselves off of nicotine completely. It's definitely cheaper. Besides the start-up cost (about 120 bucks), we'll go from spending over 200 bucks a month to spending around 30 a month (on the liquid and apparently the atomizers). Within the first month, it's paid for itself.
This thing is good. I like it. And don't worry, unless you tell me I can, I won't smoke it in your house or car, I'll still go outside. I'm a polite person. :)
And on another random note, I'm a very parenthetical writer, aren't I? I wonder if that's annoying to other people. Not to me. It's just how I write my thoughts down. :) Thanks for reading!
CW: 247 lbs
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -13 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
*****
So I find it ironic that after I preached and ranted for a little bit (okay, maybe a lot) in my last post about not being down on yourself, the only person who can beat you is yourself, yadda-yadda, I hit a slump. Down in the dumps, not eating right, not exercising, upset at night because of how I look. Fitting, is it not? ;)
Each morning, though, I'm trying again. Breakfast is usually decent (I've discovered it's amazing how much cereal you can have it the morning and still be pretty low on calories), lunch can be okay, depending on if I go get food or eat what I've brought. Dinner starts the downhill slide, especially now that Patrick has gone back to working nights. Not that I'm blaming him, or anything like that. It's all on me to lose weight and eat right, and I don't expect anyone to stand over me and monitor everything (wouldn't that be nice, though?). However, when he's home, there's no binge-eating late at night. There's no cake for dessert, and if there is, there's definitely not two pieces. I guess this is because, even though he's been with me for over ten years now, I still don't necessarily want him to see me stuff my face like a pig.
It's is nice, however, that I haven't gone back into the 250s. It's come close. Closer than I wanted to. It's stayed int eh 40s, though, so that's nice. Now I just need to focus on getting down out of the 40s and into the 30s. This is the disappointing part about actually setting goals - failure to reach them. According to my goals on the side of the page, I was supposed to be down 10% by now and working on another 10%. But at least I'm down a little bit, right? Every little bit is nice and means that I'm working on it.
I went shopping for shirts recently. I've discovered two things: I can wear 12/14 (misses) and XXL (19 in juniors), and because of this, they are cutting clothes bigger these days. I look at myself in the mirror and yes, I know I've lost some weight. I've maybe lost some inches, although I can't really tell where. However, I definitely don't think that I've lost enough to be able to say that I can wear a 12/14. Maybe that's just because I've been out of that size for so long that I see it is something only medium-size people can wear. Maybe that's where the faulty thinking is coming in. Not sure. However, it does mean that I get some cuter shirts as an option, as well as firmly being in the 16 sizes.
Now for the smoking side of things - the last I checked in with smoking, I was depressed because my lungs hurt, I couldn't breathe, I wasn't doing great on not smoking... Now I have an electronic cigarette and things are definitely looking up on that front. I haven't had a real cigarette since May 30th (8 days ago, right?). I did have a puff off of a cigarette this past Saturday, but that was just to compare. At first, I was like, there's no difference between this real cigarette and my e-cig! In fact, I feel like there's something in the real cigarette that I've been missing! Then the nastiness hit me - the smell, the gross taste in the my mouth, the heaviness in my lungs... No thank you.
So for those who don't know what an electronic cigarette is, you can Google it. I'll tell you that it has a battery and vaporizes a liquid that you inhale. You can get nicotine (which is, in fact, the point) or not. There are all sorts of flavors you can get. We have stuck with nicotine for now, however. It's supposed to taste like a Marlboro Light, but I call shenanigans on that. That's fine, though, because it gets the job done. So you push a button, it vaporizes some liquid, and you inhale it. What you exhale is supposed to be pretty close to just water vapor, which is why, technically, we could use these things anywhere (school, work, hospitals, restaurants, whatever). I "tested" it on someone who doesn't smoke and is pretty sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke (by testing it I mean I smoked it right next to her) and she didn't smell anything at all.
We can use them around the kids and there's no chance of effects from second-hand smoke, because there's no smoke. There's no tar, no carbon monoxide, not nearly as many additives (I've read that it went from 200+ additives in cigarettes to about 14 in e-cigs). The carcinogens are gone from this. Nicotine itself is addictive, yes, but from what I understand is not the ingredient in cigarettes that gives you cancer and emphysema and all that other nasty crap. We don't smell bad anymore. We don't have to carry lighters anymore. There's no litter because there's no butts. I don't have to worry about live embers catching grass on fire or burning someone as they walk by or whatever.
It's a pretty good deal in my head. Now I'm thinking that there have to be *some* side effects, because otherwise, why wouldn't e-cigs completely replace regular tobacco cigs? (Okay, with that question, I've answered it myself. Tobacco companies would freak at this, although if they'd hopped on the e-cig train from the beginning... Anyways, I digress.)
So my lungs are feeling better although I still haven't gone through the "withdrawal" part of things (coughing up the nastiness from my lungs, getting a better sense of smell, etc). Maybe I just need to wait a little longer to feel a lot better. When we were in the store buying the cigarettes, there were two people there who already use these things. One guy went from smoking 2 packs a day (!) to just using his e-cig and has been for a couple of months, and another lady had been smoking for years and years and has been using only her e-cig for 21 weeks with no plans to go back. So it looks like this has definite possibilities for long term use, as well as for weaning ourselves off of nicotine completely. It's definitely cheaper. Besides the start-up cost (about 120 bucks), we'll go from spending over 200 bucks a month to spending around 30 a month (on the liquid and apparently the atomizers). Within the first month, it's paid for itself.
This thing is good. I like it. And don't worry, unless you tell me I can, I won't smoke it in your house or car, I'll still go outside. I'm a polite person. :)
And on another random note, I'm a very parenthetical writer, aren't I? I wonder if that's annoying to other people. Not to me. It's just how I write my thoughts down. :) Thanks for reading!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)