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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Becky : ...insert title here...

Okay, note to self - come up with better titles. That is always my stumbling block when it comes to writing, coming up with a pithy title. My friend Kate can attest to this.

Anyways, the whole point of this post. I'm ending day three (close enough) without smoking. Still doing pretty good. It's been a day, though. My boy was diagnosed with pink eye (and we were originally told that he couldn't return to day care until Monday of next week). He's also been coughing almost non-stop lately. My girl was crying all night last night because her ear hurt so bad. She's better this morning, but it still was a rough night last night. In addition, I haven't been feeling that great - sore throat, headache, tired, etc. My throat hurts at the bottom rather than the top, so it's hard to reach with throat sprays, warm salty water, etc. Basically all I can do is wait for it to go away and go back to the UNT clinic if it gets worse.

However, this is the type of day that usually sends Patrick and I running for the gas station to get cigs. It's a good thing we aren't, since on top of all of the rest of it, we have no money, but still. I think it's pretty significant that we haven't fallen into the trap.

I find myself wanting a cigarette the most right after the kids go to bed at night. The boy goes down a little after 7, the girl by 8:30. As soon as she is in bed ("Mama, I want a song. Mama, it's dark in hear. Mama, I want as drink of water. Mama, I want to tell you something really, really, really important - did you know that bats can be white?" and on... and on... and on...) I just really want to step outside and smoke. I think I could do fine with having one cig a day and having that one be it (I won't, though). I have to remember - my daughter thinks its cool. My daughter thinks its cool. Plus, I can't take a deep breath in the morning without coughing really bad.

Speaking of my daughter, I've been telling her every day that I haven't smoked. She thinks I'm doing great, because I've told her before how hard it is to quit. Hopefully, she will remember this when she gets old enough to want to start. Probably not, but I can hope, right?

I also need to jump on the dieting bandwagon - or at least the "Put down that food!" bandwagon. I've been eating more in the past couple of days. I think that I'm using quitting smoking as an excuse to eat everything I can. That's not good. I don't want to have to lose the ::mumble,mumble: pounds that I currently do, as well as the additional 60 pounds from quitting smoking. That would suck. So, remember, Lisa, you are my inspiration for losing weight as well. Basically I'm quitting smoking so that I can get to that point, and we can be hot mamas together. :D

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