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Wednesday, December 8, 2010


I am trying. I really am. Even while we were out of town I did not go crazy! Yes, I ate crap but I did not go as insane on it as I would have before all of this. I am now heavier than when I started this fiasco.

My fault, it is. I get that. It's just that I am so pissed off at myself for it. Then, that spirals into being upset about it; which turns into a depression about the entire way I look; which makes me cry as I type this; which really sucks because I am at work; which makes me type run-on sentences and all of this makes me feel like not caring. Then I look in the mirror and think, "Damn girl, look at you. You can't give up or you will just end up looking WORSE than you do now. Get your act together and get back on". So, I do and the entire cycle starts over again. It always has ended the same though... right back here.

In 10 minutes I will get out of my seat and go for a short walk in the brisk weather. That might cool me off a bit.

The holidays are coming. That is rediculous. What am I going to do? I have NO WILLPOWER. That is my entire issue with all of this (besides whatever it was that caused me to get like this to begin with). How does one learn willpower being amongst all of the fabulous food this world offers? I have to eat like everyone else. So, how do I make it so that I can enjoy it like other people do but still be happy with myself?

Yesterday I ate 1781 calories and did no walking. It was SO super crazy at work and I neglected myself in that. I will not do that today.

Off I go into the chilly Dallas air with the highest hopes that I will get out of this funk and will myself some willpower :O)

Thank you for reading this boys. It is appreciated and I do honestly think it helps knowing people care enough to read my lame writings.


  1. Did my comment not take? Sometimes I don't get this whole blog thing.

    Don't forget about me! I read what we write! I was going to comment more, but it kept getting longer and longer, so I rewrote it as a post.

  2. Hi Lisa! I totally relate to everything you're going through. After Anthony was born, when I was the heaviest I had ever been, I was nearly 80 pounds overweight, and I am only 5'3". It is really, really hard to change habits and lose weight. Believe me, if I could do it, you certainly can.

    Regarding your time out of town, remember that your body has been living on fewer calories than it has had to live on for a long time. That means that, for a while, any bad days are going to be made to seem much worse, since your metabolism has not caught up with your new diet and lifestyle yet.

    Lisa's body's response to diet: Crap! She's giving me less fuel! I have to use my fat reserves!

    Lisa's body's response to a bad day after a few weeks of dieting: Oh, thank God! She's eating more! More fuel! I shall save some for later when she starts eating less again!

    Fat stored, scale goes up, Lisa gets sad. Been there, done that. You just have to roll with that sort of thing until your body adjusts to its new level of caloric intake.

    Regarding the holidays, I eat a little of everything I want on the holidays, then I give the leftovers to people who aren't dieting. I've found that if you have a craving, you MUST satisfy it or it will get worse and worse. You just have to satisfy it with a little tiny bit. I found substitutes. Carrots and hummus became my chips and dip. A few small squares of dark chocolate or a handful of chocolate chips eventually became enough to satisfy my sweets cravings. It took a while Lisa, but it gets better. And easier. The first few months totally blow.

    And I am not a boy. But I do read. Any time you need a boost, email me or call me. Love you.

  3. Instead off getting down on yourself and feeling depressed. Think of this as a long term investment in your self. The small baby steps you take everyday will be hard and gradual. However if you project it out over say the next 36 months or 144 weeks which ever number you like better. Then its easier to make a goal and make it happen.

    Yes you will have to work hard. And food taste great. There is no denying it. But its about baby steps. Drink more water.

    Try and drink a half and ounce for every pound you weigh.

    Oatmeal is your friend.

    Jello, i know not the bestest tasting but it will help.

    This maybe the hardest part of all of this, try and eat six small meals a day. A meal replacement shake, some trail mix, a small salad.... Oatmeal!!!! wooo hooo maybe with some fruit.
    Then eat a nice dinner with some fish and veggies.

    Yes i know that is super hard. But eating that way bumps up your metabolism and will help with curbing any over eating that may occur.

    Rome wasn't built in a day : )

    It not about being perfect its about giving effort day in and day out.

    And here is my big finale .................. wait for it ........................ Its gonna be a duzzy ........ There's no crying in baseball !!!

    Its a life style change you are looking for not some crappy Diet.

    Keep it up un mocha chip... In 144 weeks you will be rockin a string Bi and a Jackie O hat @ the beach or Pool.