I haven't been here lately, I realize this. Mostly, it has been on purpose. The eating has not been good and the exercise has been non-existent. while I have lost a couple measly pounds, it really has more to do with not eating as much, me thinks, as eating correctly. Great Scott, I have not been eating right. In the past month I may have had 5 servings of veggies. total. Two of those were in the past week.
There is nothing to blame it on except myself.
However, I bought a lot of veggies, and much less crap, at the store this week so there's some hope.
How the hell do I find the motivation? Seriously, nothing helps. I look to myself, I look to others, the internet, I don't know what else to do. Nothing I tell myself and nothing others tell me does anything.
It will come to me. I will figure this out. I will beat this.
Yeah, I say it but as I type it, I know it is not true.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Yeah well, I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy
Current Stats:
CW: 247 lbs
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -13 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
*****
So I find it ironic that after I preached and ranted for a little bit (okay, maybe a lot) in my last post about not being down on yourself, the only person who can beat you is yourself, yadda-yadda, I hit a slump. Down in the dumps, not eating right, not exercising, upset at night because of how I look. Fitting, is it not? ;)
Each morning, though, I'm trying again. Breakfast is usually decent (I've discovered it's amazing how much cereal you can have it the morning and still be pretty low on calories), lunch can be okay, depending on if I go get food or eat what I've brought. Dinner starts the downhill slide, especially now that Patrick has gone back to working nights. Not that I'm blaming him, or anything like that. It's all on me to lose weight and eat right, and I don't expect anyone to stand over me and monitor everything (wouldn't that be nice, though?). However, when he's home, there's no binge-eating late at night. There's no cake for dessert, and if there is, there's definitely not two pieces. I guess this is because, even though he's been with me for over ten years now, I still don't necessarily want him to see me stuff my face like a pig.
It's is nice, however, that I haven't gone back into the 250s. It's come close. Closer than I wanted to. It's stayed int eh 40s, though, so that's nice. Now I just need to focus on getting down out of the 40s and into the 30s. This is the disappointing part about actually setting goals - failure to reach them. According to my goals on the side of the page, I was supposed to be down 10% by now and working on another 10%. But at least I'm down a little bit, right? Every little bit is nice and means that I'm working on it.
I went shopping for shirts recently. I've discovered two things: I can wear 12/14 (misses) and XXL (19 in juniors), and because of this, they are cutting clothes bigger these days. I look at myself in the mirror and yes, I know I've lost some weight. I've maybe lost some inches, although I can't really tell where. However, I definitely don't think that I've lost enough to be able to say that I can wear a 12/14. Maybe that's just because I've been out of that size for so long that I see it is something only medium-size people can wear. Maybe that's where the faulty thinking is coming in. Not sure. However, it does mean that I get some cuter shirts as an option, as well as firmly being in the 16 sizes.
Now for the smoking side of things - the last I checked in with smoking, I was depressed because my lungs hurt, I couldn't breathe, I wasn't doing great on not smoking... Now I have an electronic cigarette and things are definitely looking up on that front. I haven't had a real cigarette since May 30th (8 days ago, right?). I did have a puff off of a cigarette this past Saturday, but that was just to compare. At first, I was like, there's no difference between this real cigarette and my e-cig! In fact, I feel like there's something in the real cigarette that I've been missing! Then the nastiness hit me - the smell, the gross taste in the my mouth, the heaviness in my lungs... No thank you.
So for those who don't know what an electronic cigarette is, you can Google it. I'll tell you that it has a battery and vaporizes a liquid that you inhale. You can get nicotine (which is, in fact, the point) or not. There are all sorts of flavors you can get. We have stuck with nicotine for now, however. It's supposed to taste like a Marlboro Light, but I call shenanigans on that. That's fine, though, because it gets the job done. So you push a button, it vaporizes some liquid, and you inhale it. What you exhale is supposed to be pretty close to just water vapor, which is why, technically, we could use these things anywhere (school, work, hospitals, restaurants, whatever). I "tested" it on someone who doesn't smoke and is pretty sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke (by testing it I mean I smoked it right next to her) and she didn't smell anything at all.
We can use them around the kids and there's no chance of effects from second-hand smoke, because there's no smoke. There's no tar, no carbon monoxide, not nearly as many additives (I've read that it went from 200+ additives in cigarettes to about 14 in e-cigs). The carcinogens are gone from this. Nicotine itself is addictive, yes, but from what I understand is not the ingredient in cigarettes that gives you cancer and emphysema and all that other nasty crap. We don't smell bad anymore. We don't have to carry lighters anymore. There's no litter because there's no butts. I don't have to worry about live embers catching grass on fire or burning someone as they walk by or whatever.
It's a pretty good deal in my head. Now I'm thinking that there have to be *some* side effects, because otherwise, why wouldn't e-cigs completely replace regular tobacco cigs? (Okay, with that question, I've answered it myself. Tobacco companies would freak at this, although if they'd hopped on the e-cig train from the beginning... Anyways, I digress.)
So my lungs are feeling better although I still haven't gone through the "withdrawal" part of things (coughing up the nastiness from my lungs, getting a better sense of smell, etc). Maybe I just need to wait a little longer to feel a lot better. When we were in the store buying the cigarettes, there were two people there who already use these things. One guy went from smoking 2 packs a day (!) to just using his e-cig and has been for a couple of months, and another lady had been smoking for years and years and has been using only her e-cig for 21 weeks with no plans to go back. So it looks like this has definite possibilities for long term use, as well as for weaning ourselves off of nicotine completely. It's definitely cheaper. Besides the start-up cost (about 120 bucks), we'll go from spending over 200 bucks a month to spending around 30 a month (on the liquid and apparently the atomizers). Within the first month, it's paid for itself.
This thing is good. I like it. And don't worry, unless you tell me I can, I won't smoke it in your house or car, I'll still go outside. I'm a polite person. :)
And on another random note, I'm a very parenthetical writer, aren't I? I wonder if that's annoying to other people. Not to me. It's just how I write my thoughts down. :) Thanks for reading!
CW: 247 lbs
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -13 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
*****
So I find it ironic that after I preached and ranted for a little bit (okay, maybe a lot) in my last post about not being down on yourself, the only person who can beat you is yourself, yadda-yadda, I hit a slump. Down in the dumps, not eating right, not exercising, upset at night because of how I look. Fitting, is it not? ;)
Each morning, though, I'm trying again. Breakfast is usually decent (I've discovered it's amazing how much cereal you can have it the morning and still be pretty low on calories), lunch can be okay, depending on if I go get food or eat what I've brought. Dinner starts the downhill slide, especially now that Patrick has gone back to working nights. Not that I'm blaming him, or anything like that. It's all on me to lose weight and eat right, and I don't expect anyone to stand over me and monitor everything (wouldn't that be nice, though?). However, when he's home, there's no binge-eating late at night. There's no cake for dessert, and if there is, there's definitely not two pieces. I guess this is because, even though he's been with me for over ten years now, I still don't necessarily want him to see me stuff my face like a pig.
It's is nice, however, that I haven't gone back into the 250s. It's come close. Closer than I wanted to. It's stayed int eh 40s, though, so that's nice. Now I just need to focus on getting down out of the 40s and into the 30s. This is the disappointing part about actually setting goals - failure to reach them. According to my goals on the side of the page, I was supposed to be down 10% by now and working on another 10%. But at least I'm down a little bit, right? Every little bit is nice and means that I'm working on it.
I went shopping for shirts recently. I've discovered two things: I can wear 12/14 (misses) and XXL (19 in juniors), and because of this, they are cutting clothes bigger these days. I look at myself in the mirror and yes, I know I've lost some weight. I've maybe lost some inches, although I can't really tell where. However, I definitely don't think that I've lost enough to be able to say that I can wear a 12/14. Maybe that's just because I've been out of that size for so long that I see it is something only medium-size people can wear. Maybe that's where the faulty thinking is coming in. Not sure. However, it does mean that I get some cuter shirts as an option, as well as firmly being in the 16 sizes.
Now for the smoking side of things - the last I checked in with smoking, I was depressed because my lungs hurt, I couldn't breathe, I wasn't doing great on not smoking... Now I have an electronic cigarette and things are definitely looking up on that front. I haven't had a real cigarette since May 30th (8 days ago, right?). I did have a puff off of a cigarette this past Saturday, but that was just to compare. At first, I was like, there's no difference between this real cigarette and my e-cig! In fact, I feel like there's something in the real cigarette that I've been missing! Then the nastiness hit me - the smell, the gross taste in the my mouth, the heaviness in my lungs... No thank you.
So for those who don't know what an electronic cigarette is, you can Google it. I'll tell you that it has a battery and vaporizes a liquid that you inhale. You can get nicotine (which is, in fact, the point) or not. There are all sorts of flavors you can get. We have stuck with nicotine for now, however. It's supposed to taste like a Marlboro Light, but I call shenanigans on that. That's fine, though, because it gets the job done. So you push a button, it vaporizes some liquid, and you inhale it. What you exhale is supposed to be pretty close to just water vapor, which is why, technically, we could use these things anywhere (school, work, hospitals, restaurants, whatever). I "tested" it on someone who doesn't smoke and is pretty sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke (by testing it I mean I smoked it right next to her) and she didn't smell anything at all.
We can use them around the kids and there's no chance of effects from second-hand smoke, because there's no smoke. There's no tar, no carbon monoxide, not nearly as many additives (I've read that it went from 200+ additives in cigarettes to about 14 in e-cigs). The carcinogens are gone from this. Nicotine itself is addictive, yes, but from what I understand is not the ingredient in cigarettes that gives you cancer and emphysema and all that other nasty crap. We don't smell bad anymore. We don't have to carry lighters anymore. There's no litter because there's no butts. I don't have to worry about live embers catching grass on fire or burning someone as they walk by or whatever.
It's a pretty good deal in my head. Now I'm thinking that there have to be *some* side effects, because otherwise, why wouldn't e-cigs completely replace regular tobacco cigs? (Okay, with that question, I've answered it myself. Tobacco companies would freak at this, although if they'd hopped on the e-cig train from the beginning... Anyways, I digress.)
So my lungs are feeling better although I still haven't gone through the "withdrawal" part of things (coughing up the nastiness from my lungs, getting a better sense of smell, etc). Maybe I just need to wait a little longer to feel a lot better. When we were in the store buying the cigarettes, there were two people there who already use these things. One guy went from smoking 2 packs a day (!) to just using his e-cig and has been for a couple of months, and another lady had been smoking for years and years and has been using only her e-cig for 21 weeks with no plans to go back. So it looks like this has definite possibilities for long term use, as well as for weaning ourselves off of nicotine completely. It's definitely cheaper. Besides the start-up cost (about 120 bucks), we'll go from spending over 200 bucks a month to spending around 30 a month (on the liquid and apparently the atomizers). Within the first month, it's paid for itself.
This thing is good. I like it. And don't worry, unless you tell me I can, I won't smoke it in your house or car, I'll still go outside. I'm a polite person. :)
And on another random note, I'm a very parenthetical writer, aren't I? I wonder if that's annoying to other people. Not to me. It's just how I write my thoughts down. :) Thanks for reading!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Stagnant
I really don't have much to say tonight. I have been up and down this week, being in Austin did not help matters at all. In fact, it hurt it a few pounds. However, it is about that time again when I start to really crave sweets. Trust me, I really do try hard and I really am not eating all that much.
So, I will need to change things up quite a bit here soon. How, is not something I know yet but hopefully it will come to me soon.
So, I will need to change things up quite a bit here soon. How, is not something I know yet but hopefully it will come to me soon.
Friday, May 27, 2011
It's a good thing I'm funny, because man, I'm fat
Becky, Becky, Becky... boy, that post was for me, wasn't it!?
Yes, I have been down on myself lately, because I have felt like (almost) a complete failure at this. I say almost because I am still down a total of anywhere from 10 - 12 pounds. I am stuck there, it seems, destined to be forever in limbo at this weight mark on the scale. The miserable bobbing bar on the physician scale at work taunts me; it mocks me every single time I step on. "Hahaha! You won't get lower than this. You don't have the power to make my bar raise.", it says to me and I walk away sulking. 263 - 264 is where I am hovering (if only I were light enough to hover). So, yes, I have my own pity parties but I know I will get down to 262 and rejoice again! It only takes one tiny bit of glimmer to make me shine again; it just takes a lot to get that glimmer going sometimes.
So, I am still trying. Maybe not as hard-core as before, but I am still absolutely trying. There is no giving up for me on this; I am in for the long haul. I am in for life (both as a reference to time and reason).
Maybe, just maybe, it will help if I do start posting daily. Will you get sick of hearing from me? I am betting, ummm, HELL YES. But, I can say with 100% certainty and selfishness that I am doing this for ME and not you so, there. :O)
Also, as smart as I think I am most of the time, I have some pretty stupid plans. For example, I log all my food and then decide, "Oh, I've got this, I don't really need to log everything anymore". When in actuality, the times I start slowing my weight loss, or forcing it to come to a mind altering halt, are the times that I stop logging my food. DOH! What an eye opener that is. I need to realize that being lazy and cutting corners is what got me into this situation to begin with so why am I still looking for the easy way out, the path of least resistance? Well, slap me and call me Ginger, I have got to stop doing that!
Last night I went out with some friends and had a great time! I drank three margaritas and did not care about calories or carbs or anything. We went to On the Border and I did eat a bit of a few appetizers but I really did not eat that much. If nothing else, eating better over the past few months has made me eat MUCH less. That is a plus!
Becky, I love you too and also thank you for all of your support and motivation! You are also totally fun to hang out with! I may have my bad moments and think really bad things about myself but for the most part I am proud of what we are doing here, both in what we have done and what we will do.
Yes, I have been down on myself lately, because I have felt like (almost) a complete failure at this. I say almost because I am still down a total of anywhere from 10 - 12 pounds. I am stuck there, it seems, destined to be forever in limbo at this weight mark on the scale. The miserable bobbing bar on the physician scale at work taunts me; it mocks me every single time I step on. "Hahaha! You won't get lower than this. You don't have the power to make my bar raise.", it says to me and I walk away sulking. 263 - 264 is where I am hovering (if only I were light enough to hover). So, yes, I have my own pity parties but I know I will get down to 262 and rejoice again! It only takes one tiny bit of glimmer to make me shine again; it just takes a lot to get that glimmer going sometimes.
So, I am still trying. Maybe not as hard-core as before, but I am still absolutely trying. There is no giving up for me on this; I am in for the long haul. I am in for life (both as a reference to time and reason).
Maybe, just maybe, it will help if I do start posting daily. Will you get sick of hearing from me? I am betting, ummm, HELL YES. But, I can say with 100% certainty and selfishness that I am doing this for ME and not you so, there. :O)
Also, as smart as I think I am most of the time, I have some pretty stupid plans. For example, I log all my food and then decide, "Oh, I've got this, I don't really need to log everything anymore". When in actuality, the times I start slowing my weight loss, or forcing it to come to a mind altering halt, are the times that I stop logging my food. DOH! What an eye opener that is. I need to realize that being lazy and cutting corners is what got me into this situation to begin with so why am I still looking for the easy way out, the path of least resistance? Well, slap me and call me Ginger, I have got to stop doing that!
Last night I went out with some friends and had a great time! I drank three margaritas and did not care about calories or carbs or anything. We went to On the Border and I did eat a bit of a few appetizers but I really did not eat that much. If nothing else, eating better over the past few months has made me eat MUCH less. That is a plus!
Becky, I love you too and also thank you for all of your support and motivation! You are also totally fun to hang out with! I may have my bad moments and think really bad things about myself but for the most part I am proud of what we are doing here, both in what we have done and what we will do.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Power of Positive Thinking
CW: 242 lbs
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -18 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
*****
Okay, so I know that that title is dorky, campy, cliched, whatever... However, unfortunately, I also think that it's true. Not to the point of "visualizing good things coming your way" or whatever happy-crappy New Age bullshit, but being able to genuinely believe in yourself and think well of yourself.
Now, I've declared myself Queen of the Pity Party before (when I was younger) and I will gladly pass that title along to someone else. Someone deserving. You know, like an entitled 16 year old brat that thinks that nothing in life is fair, no one loves her, she's going to go eat worms (as my mother is fond of telling me). I used to have horrible self-esteem (read: none), and only through time, wonderful friends and family, and a husband who loves me so much even after ten years together did I develop self-esteem. Now, I still have my problems, but who doesn't? For the most part, I think well of myself. I think I'm deserving of good things. But most of all, I think that I can do whatever I set my mind to do, because I'm damn stubborn, thank you very much.
Apparently, however, having a bad attitude about yourself for so long starts habits that sometimes you aren't even aware of. I was talking to friend a couple of months back at a party. We had been sitting around drinking and catching up for several hours (so we were feeling very good), and I said something that I didn't think was too bad. I can't remember what it was, but she called me on it and told me to stop being so down on myself. I was surprised, because like I said, I didn't think it was that bad.
But you get in the habit of saying, "I'm fat. I'm ugly. I can't wear anything cute." Then it graduates to "It's a good thing I'm funny, because man, I'm fat/ugly/whatever. Man, I look good today, which is a change for me." Hopefully, you get to the point where you think well about yourself for the most part, but the self-deprecation always shows up. (A side note: I looked up self-deprecating in the dictionary to make sure that I was using it right, and I was struck by the definition: "belittling or undervaluing oneself; excessive modesty". Think on that for a little bit.) A good thing about yourself, followed by a bad thing. Example: I look damn good... for a fat girl.
Like I said above, I've gotten to the point where I don't always realize that I'm doing this. Apparently, I do this a lot, and not only about my looks or physical stature. I belittle my intelligence, what I've accomplished, my value to my friends... I think that I'm being realistic. However, I'm not. I'm being self-deprecating and undervaluing myself.
A little bit of modesty is definitely a good thing, otherwise no one would be able to stand being around you. However, constantly being down on yourself drives people away, too. If there's anything that I've learned the hard way, it's that.
So, in conclusion, I say this to myself, to Lisa, and to anyone else reading this (and I know I've said it before). The only person who can beat you is yourself. If you tell yourself, I can't do this, then guess what? You won't. At all. Ever. We can do this, regardless of what this is. We just have to stay motivated, which admittedly with weight loss is a hard thing, especially if nothing is happening. Keep telling yourself, I can do this. If you have a bad day, make the next day better. Stop looking at the scale and look at how you look, how you feel. In my opinion, when you are dieting and exercising (in moderation) it shows in how you hold yourself, because you feel better about yourself. You've admitted there's a problem and you're trying to do something about it, rather than just whining about it. It may take a while, but for most of us, the weight didn't appear over night, so there's no reason to expect it to disappear overnight as well. It's tough and frustrating and defeating, because we are changing habits of a lifetime, trying to get used to new ways of doing things. That's never easy. But keep doing it, and stop telling yourself it's pointless. Think of every underdog movie and cliche that you can to keep yourself going, because there's a reason that we like stories about those that keep trying and persevere, against the odds.
Lisa, directly to you: I love you. I'm so glad that I met you and that you've motivated me to try and change the habits about myself that I don't like. You've kept me going on this longer than I would have been able to do on my own, even if our support (and our readers' support) is only online. I think that you are beautiful and fun and funny and an all around awesome person. I hope that you feel that way about yourself, as well.
Okay, soap box rant over.
SW: 260 lbs
TL: -18 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs
*****
Okay, so I know that that title is dorky, campy, cliched, whatever... However, unfortunately, I also think that it's true. Not to the point of "visualizing good things coming your way" or whatever happy-crappy New Age bullshit, but being able to genuinely believe in yourself and think well of yourself.
Now, I've declared myself Queen of the Pity Party before (when I was younger) and I will gladly pass that title along to someone else. Someone deserving. You know, like an entitled 16 year old brat that thinks that nothing in life is fair, no one loves her, she's going to go eat worms (as my mother is fond of telling me). I used to have horrible self-esteem (read: none), and only through time, wonderful friends and family, and a husband who loves me so much even after ten years together did I develop self-esteem. Now, I still have my problems, but who doesn't? For the most part, I think well of myself. I think I'm deserving of good things. But most of all, I think that I can do whatever I set my mind to do, because I'm damn stubborn, thank you very much.
Apparently, however, having a bad attitude about yourself for so long starts habits that sometimes you aren't even aware of. I was talking to friend a couple of months back at a party. We had been sitting around drinking and catching up for several hours (so we were feeling very good), and I said something that I didn't think was too bad. I can't remember what it was, but she called me on it and told me to stop being so down on myself. I was surprised, because like I said, I didn't think it was that bad.
But you get in the habit of saying, "I'm fat. I'm ugly. I can't wear anything cute." Then it graduates to "It's a good thing I'm funny, because man, I'm fat/ugly/whatever. Man, I look good today, which is a change for me." Hopefully, you get to the point where you think well about yourself for the most part, but the self-deprecation always shows up. (A side note: I looked up self-deprecating in the dictionary to make sure that I was using it right, and I was struck by the definition: "belittling or undervaluing oneself; excessive modesty". Think on that for a little bit.) A good thing about yourself, followed by a bad thing. Example: I look damn good... for a fat girl.
Like I said above, I've gotten to the point where I don't always realize that I'm doing this. Apparently, I do this a lot, and not only about my looks or physical stature. I belittle my intelligence, what I've accomplished, my value to my friends... I think that I'm being realistic. However, I'm not. I'm being self-deprecating and undervaluing myself.
A little bit of modesty is definitely a good thing, otherwise no one would be able to stand being around you. However, constantly being down on yourself drives people away, too. If there's anything that I've learned the hard way, it's that.
So, in conclusion, I say this to myself, to Lisa, and to anyone else reading this (and I know I've said it before). The only person who can beat you is yourself. If you tell yourself, I can't do this, then guess what? You won't. At all. Ever. We can do this, regardless of what this is. We just have to stay motivated, which admittedly with weight loss is a hard thing, especially if nothing is happening. Keep telling yourself, I can do this. If you have a bad day, make the next day better. Stop looking at the scale and look at how you look, how you feel. In my opinion, when you are dieting and exercising (in moderation) it shows in how you hold yourself, because you feel better about yourself. You've admitted there's a problem and you're trying to do something about it, rather than just whining about it. It may take a while, but for most of us, the weight didn't appear over night, so there's no reason to expect it to disappear overnight as well. It's tough and frustrating and defeating, because we are changing habits of a lifetime, trying to get used to new ways of doing things. That's never easy. But keep doing it, and stop telling yourself it's pointless. Think of every underdog movie and cliche that you can to keep yourself going, because there's a reason that we like stories about those that keep trying and persevere, against the odds.
Lisa, directly to you: I love you. I'm so glad that I met you and that you've motivated me to try and change the habits about myself that I don't like. You've kept me going on this longer than I would have been able to do on my own, even if our support (and our readers' support) is only online. I think that you are beautiful and fun and funny and an all around awesome person. I hope that you feel that way about yourself, as well.
Okay, soap box rant over.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Creative Title Here...
Current Stats:
SW: 260 lbs
CW: 243 lbs
TL: -17 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs (10%)
*****
So Lisa and I were talking Saturday night and both of us agreed that we don't necessarily like to post anything when we have nothing good to report. "Hello, Becky here, gained back 7 of my -17 lbs, trying to get that off, would be a lot easier without the popcorn and ice cream diet...." So that's why we go so long without writing anything, rather than give you an update every day (or even every other day) on the life of a dieter. Heck, everyone reading this (probably) knows what it's like to be on a diet.
But I haven't posted in a little bit, so here we go. Still not doing okay with the no-smoking thing, but I blame Patrick. He's not quitting until work straightens out (he's a stress-smoker), so I have no self-control. However, I have stopped bringing them to work (and one of my main hookups for cigs stopped smoking last Friday, so that's... good). So I go the whole day without a cigarette and wait until I get home and have had dinner (for the most part) before I have my first one. I'm trying to keep it down to 3 or 4 a day.
Sometimes I'm worried that I waited too long to quit smoking. I picked up my first cigarette 19 years ago, and have been what I would call a steady smoker for about 16 or 17 years (minus time off for pregnancies, of course). My lungs hurt a lot these days, especially in the morning. Even if I've only had two or three the day before, my chest feels like I chain-smoked an entire pack before I went to bed. I cough a lot, and it's that nasty smoker's cough.
Apparently, I'm worried enough to dwell on it when I'm alone, but not enough to put them down and walk away. Damn it.
So back to my friend that quit this past Friday - he was a pack a day smoker (Camel Wides) and he bought the e-cigarette. There was a little bit of an investment for it, but in the long run, it's definitely (financially) cheaper than smoking cigarettes. He says that it's been doing great for him. He went to the bar with some friends (normally a smoke-heavy event) and didn't feel the urge to have one, only a puff on his e-cig. That has definite possibilities. That's next on the list of things to try. Hopefully soon.
Other than smoking, I've tried to stay pretty active lately. On Saturday morning, we re-seeded our backyard to try and get some grass to grow back there. That involved using a hand-tiller to break up the ground, spread peat moss, seed, and dirt, then mix it all together, in addition with putting up temporary fencing to keep kids and dogs off it and amusing/supervising the kids. (On a side note, you know kids have been having fun outside when the fastest way to get them clean is to hose them off and then dump them in the bath). Granted, after doing this work all morning, I had five pieces of pizza for lunch. :( Then I cleaned in the afternoon, and cleaned and rearranged the house (with help) on Sunday. Much better than sitting on my butt all weekend. The scale didn't move much this morning, but I'm hoping to get under 240 sometime this week or next. Hoping on staying there, too.
I've discovered how far I walk in the mornings when I actually do it. It averages out to about 2 miles, walking at 3 miles an hour. Not very fast, not very far, but it still burns about 260 calories. That means that some mornings, by the time I get to work, I start out with "negative calories". Yay! I've also been getting comments about my appearance, that I look like I've been losing weight. Even if I haven't, that's always nice to hear. Makes me feel better about myself.
Okay, time to get started on that work thing. Bye! :)
SW: 260 lbs
CW: 243 lbs
TL: -17 lbs
1st goal: -26 lbs (10%)
*****
So Lisa and I were talking Saturday night and both of us agreed that we don't necessarily like to post anything when we have nothing good to report. "Hello, Becky here, gained back 7 of my -17 lbs, trying to get that off, would be a lot easier without the popcorn and ice cream diet...." So that's why we go so long without writing anything, rather than give you an update every day (or even every other day) on the life of a dieter. Heck, everyone reading this (probably) knows what it's like to be on a diet.
But I haven't posted in a little bit, so here we go. Still not doing okay with the no-smoking thing, but I blame Patrick. He's not quitting until work straightens out (he's a stress-smoker), so I have no self-control. However, I have stopped bringing them to work (and one of my main hookups for cigs stopped smoking last Friday, so that's... good). So I go the whole day without a cigarette and wait until I get home and have had dinner (for the most part) before I have my first one. I'm trying to keep it down to 3 or 4 a day.
Sometimes I'm worried that I waited too long to quit smoking. I picked up my first cigarette 19 years ago, and have been what I would call a steady smoker for about 16 or 17 years (minus time off for pregnancies, of course). My lungs hurt a lot these days, especially in the morning. Even if I've only had two or three the day before, my chest feels like I chain-smoked an entire pack before I went to bed. I cough a lot, and it's that nasty smoker's cough.
Apparently, I'm worried enough to dwell on it when I'm alone, but not enough to put them down and walk away. Damn it.
So back to my friend that quit this past Friday - he was a pack a day smoker (Camel Wides) and he bought the e-cigarette. There was a little bit of an investment for it, but in the long run, it's definitely (financially) cheaper than smoking cigarettes. He says that it's been doing great for him. He went to the bar with some friends (normally a smoke-heavy event) and didn't feel the urge to have one, only a puff on his e-cig. That has definite possibilities. That's next on the list of things to try. Hopefully soon.
Other than smoking, I've tried to stay pretty active lately. On Saturday morning, we re-seeded our backyard to try and get some grass to grow back there. That involved using a hand-tiller to break up the ground, spread peat moss, seed, and dirt, then mix it all together, in addition with putting up temporary fencing to keep kids and dogs off it and amusing/supervising the kids. (On a side note, you know kids have been having fun outside when the fastest way to get them clean is to hose them off and then dump them in the bath). Granted, after doing this work all morning, I had five pieces of pizza for lunch. :( Then I cleaned in the afternoon, and cleaned and rearranged the house (with help) on Sunday. Much better than sitting on my butt all weekend. The scale didn't move much this morning, but I'm hoping to get under 240 sometime this week or next. Hoping on staying there, too.
I've discovered how far I walk in the mornings when I actually do it. It averages out to about 2 miles, walking at 3 miles an hour. Not very fast, not very far, but it still burns about 260 calories. That means that some mornings, by the time I get to work, I start out with "negative calories". Yay! I've also been getting comments about my appearance, that I look like I've been losing weight. Even if I haven't, that's always nice to hear. Makes me feel better about myself.
Okay, time to get started on that work thing. Bye! :)
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